I've been going back and forth for some time now about whether or not to post pictures to this site. I am a fairly private person (who decided to create a public personal blog?!?!?!). Some of you have even pointed out that I don't actually post many personal-type posts that often. One of the main reasons I started this blog (hate. that. word.) was to keep in touch with friends far away from me in this Big Red Square State. Updates on the ins and outs of my personal life are the kinds of things I'd like to keep these folks updated with. And everyone likes pictures, yes?
I suppose my main reason for anonymity on this site is the fear of future discrimination when A. and I are trying to get new jobs. In our location (that I haven't kept super secret, anyway), it wouldn't be too hard to do a search for our real names and locations and find us. Also, I'd hate for something I say on this site to cause any kind of problems for my friends and family. I suppose I am a little nervous of stalker types, but really I don't harbor any illusions to being so magnetic and mesmerizing to really inspire any stalkers. But, why chance it?
I've tried not to scream out which state I live in too loudly, and I don't think I've said what town I am in. (Though, some piss-poor detective work would make it pretty clear where I live.) I am comfortable with using initials when I mention people, though sometimes that gets confusing and even a bit dull. (Also - if any of you are ever inspired with a great nickname for A., please share!) When (yep - when!) I post photos I'll make sure that even the files names are anyonymous so as not to have anything show up on Google image.
I know that Black Sheeped has posted a couple of times about how she juggles her desire to share and her instinct to keep some level of anonymity. How do you guys feel about anonymity? How did you come to your own decisions about photos, names, stories? What are those decisions? What other precautions do you take? That you think I could/should take?
I'd like to balance my near-pathologic desire for anonymity with enough personal and friendly details to keep in touch with friends and also develop friendships with those of you who have stumbled across my site and have decided to stay for a bit. (Oh, and thank you! These blossoming little friendships have started to mean a lot to me!)
So, to dive right into sharing photos, here are a couple from my weekend. Including one of the most unflattering pictures of me ever to be taken. Enjoy.
Even though I didn't feel great, it was a nice weekend. First, as I was driving home Friday night, I caught the moon rising up over the hills behind our house.
Then, we woke up (very early! Boo!) to snow on those same hills on Saturday morning.
On Sunday, we watched the Rockies beat the Arizona Diamondbacks to tie for the NL West Wild Card. (I am the silly lady in the obnoxious green vest and the forehead that won't quit. A. is the one on the far left, looking at the camera, cute as hell. Even when not covered by a ball cap, his forehead is proportional to the rest of his body.)
The Milwaukee Brewers needed to beat the San Diego Padres yesterday in order for the Rockies and the Padres to tie for the Wild Card. It was so fun watching the scoreboard for the updates on the Brewers-Padres game while watching the Rockies at the same time. So! Fun! And it was gorgeous in Denver, although there was some snow on the tops of the northern-most Rockies.
P.S. Do A. and I look like what you thought we would?
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I don't use real names, and I've also used the same screen name on an assortment of social networking sites. I've definitely left enough details and provided enough links where a really determined someone could out my city.
ReplyDeleteI've also used the same screen name on an assortment of social networking sites.
I find it hard to believe that anyone but my friends would read my site. And not that many of my friends are reading my site.
So, you're more cautious than I am. And we're both more cautious than people who use their real names and post things like their emails, cell phone numbers and whatnot.
Oh..and go Red Sox!
I think that is a great picture of you both. You both look so happy. That is what is beautiful. And you are a better woman than me. The pictures on my site of me are 10 years and older. As to being annonymous on my blog. I stop short of posting my cell phone number on my blog. I don't share my address, but most people could find out my real name and then google my husband's name and get our phone number...if they wanted to...which they wouldn't. But if they did, I'd get the restraining order then. I have found,in the last two months, I have shared just about everything. Because I have this need to tell the world about him. BTW, A is adorable. If I come up with a cute nickname, I will let you know. Man I've been posting some killer long comments lately...apologies.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great photo, and I have to say that while I didn't really have a mental image of you, you still don't look like what I thought you would. But you look great and I love seeing photos!
ReplyDeleteWhen I started my blog, I didn't think anyone I didn't know would read it, and I was quite upfront about where I was from, where I lived, my name, etc. I try to avoid posting my last name on my blog just so that it won't come up in a basic Google search, but I also try not to post anything in my blog that I wouldn't want people to see. (Except Torsten's parents, because they don't speak English.) I'm not too worried about being stalked, in part because I don't think it's that different to say these things online than to say them to someone you've just met in person. Meeting someone in person makes you feel secure, like you know they're for real and wouldn't scare you, but you know... I mean, I've had random chats with all sorts of neighbors and whatnot, and they all know a lot about me, and yet I have no idea if they're secretly serial killers. So no, it's not a huge worry for me. Maybe it should be.
Anyway, feel better soon!
P.S. Torsten and I are watching the Rockies-Padres game right now, and since we don't have a preference between the two teams, we're rooting for the Rockies on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteI like to think that I include just enough that someone who knows me would know that it's my blog, but a perfect stranger wouldn't be able to ID me from it. But that may be wishful thinking.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't put photos of myself up mostly because I am the least photogenic person ever. I can count on one hand the number of photos of myself that I've liked. (One of which, sadly, was an ID badge photo.)
I knew what you looked like---and you still look like that. But A, this is totally random, but for some reason I had decided that A was Hispanic. So, no, he doesn't look how I thought he would! But he's very handsome nonetheless.
Sigh. I got this lump in my throat when I saw the second picture.
ReplyDeleteBut! Also! You are so cute! And note to the other readers: she always looks that cute, because she is just so darn cute.
I wish I had a better way to deal with private/public blogging. I'm still unsure, and I doubt you guys realize how very often I am hovering my mouse over the "delete blog" function. It's hard, hard.
I have no idea what to say about the anonymity, but it's probably best just to trust your instincts and never say anything about your professional life that you wouldn't want your boss to hear. (I should take my own advice).
ReplyDeleteAlso, you guys are very cute, and look like much fun, so thank you for sharing!
I go back and forth on the issue. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should post my picture and, heck, maybe use my real name. Other times I feel like maybe I shouldn't even post baby pictures, or mention the weather in case some weirdo with a weather map could figure out where we lived.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a set policy, but I try to err on the side of anonymity. I shouldn't talk so much about my mother-in-law, though. That is almost GUARANTEED to bite me in the butt.
Hey, it's YOU! Yay! You are so cute, but I pictured you with curly hair for some reason. Not sure why.
ReplyDeleteAnonymity. Yrgg. When I started my blog I decided that I would have one of two types of blogs: Totally Anonymous or Mostly Me. I went (obviously) with Mostly Me. I use my real name and am pretty free with information about myself, but I try to limit info about my husband and daughter since they aren't the ones choosing to blog. It's tough, I agree. I think we all end up talking about stuff we sometimes regret.
Bibliodiva - I love your internet handle. I think it is the best one I've run across.
ReplyDeleteI am torn about the Red Sox; they are playing the Angels, and until last year, A.'s cousin played for them. I still cheer for them, as I really like a bunch of the guys on the team. Sorry!
MrsGrumpy - I am glad that you have a blog that has worked to be a very important outlet at this time in your life. I am thinking of you.
Jess - half of me feels the same way. But the other half knows that deep down I am a naive country 'bumpkin. And thank you for cheering for the Rockies! It was fun to know you guys were cheering for them on the East Coast. Did you stay up until the end? That would have been a late game for you guys...
Lisa - I kind of feel like trying for the same balance. Although, by putting my picture up there I suppose there is a very random chance someone will run across it who recognizes me. But that would be so random I think it would make a good story rather than being creepy. As you know, I have a rather unique first name, so a nom de plume seemed like an obvious step to take to protect my privacy.
Black Sheeped - I love, love, love your blog because it is SO YOU. And you, my dear, are the cutest of all!! But seriously, I love how honest you are on your blog. It means a lot.
Flibberty - I just imagine my co-workers or my boss finding my blog and that usually is enough to keep my from ranting to outrageously.
Swistle - it might bite you in the ass, but it might also save your sanity. How are you holding up?
Tessie - I kind of like that you use your real name. Now I can say, I know someone (who is really) named Tessie! ;-)
Thanks for all your input!
Oh, almost forgot
ReplyDeleteBIG OLE HUG!
Anonymity is a difficult issue for me. Half the time I feel like I'm putting way too much information up there, and surely someone who knows me is going to happen across my blog and that will be weird when it does.
ReplyDeleteI shared the address only with a handful of close friends; and I don't use my real name or my children's full names.
Then on the other hand, I don't like feeling I have to hold back a good thought or anecdote just because of the threat of being figured out.
My picture appears in the blog; my kids too.
The main thing, I have come to feel is important, is not to have my real name connected with the blog, so that creepy people and/or prospective employers and clients don't look me up and access that information!
I think you look quite cute in that photo, by the way! So, if that's a bad photo then you must be a very attractive looking person in real life.
You still look like you! It's only been what, 10 years since we have seen each other! It's nice to see you again.
ReplyDelete