Monday, June 27, 2011


The other night, I dreamt that we had to put Buster to sleep. I do not remember any specifics, only his big brown eyes, a cold linoleum floor and the crushing heartbreak.

Both Buster and Belle have many happy, comfortable years in front of them. Yet, I have not been able to shake that heartbreak. No really.

Do you ever experience lingering fear/sadness/vague offness from a dream? When this happens to me, it tends to color everything a hazy gray for a day or two. Sometimes, if the dream is scary I will feel slightly wound up and fearful for a few days. Tell me, have you ever had this happen to you?

This has been especially acute since going on Crazy Meds. It is certainly not enough of a pain for me to consider getting off meds, but damn. Sometimes it sucks. If it keeps up, I am scheduling an appointment with my therapist. I want to make sure this is not Crazy showing up in a different pair of pants.

On the other hand, I tend to carry the happiness of a fortunate dream with me, too.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Five

Hello? Hi.

Since defending, I have not done much other than stuff as much goofy, lighthearted fiction through my eyeballs as possible. 

Free time is AWESOME.


A. and I have been on the road sooooo much already this summer. This is our first weekend home in...just over a month? 

A couple of weeks ago we spent the weekend in Denver with A.'s folks, siblings and kids. For our birthdays, his folks bought us tickets to the Rockies-Cardinals series and we went as a family. It was so, so fun. Plus, we got to see all the nieces and nephews on his side of the family. They are growing like weeds!

(Jess - sorry we didn't call. The weekend was crazy packed with so many people, and it was like herding cats. I didn't think I could handle another obligation. We will see each other soon, I promise! I need to meet Callum!)
Last weekend we traveled to my sister's to meet my brand new niece!!!! New Niece was only two weeks old and just an awesome bug of a person. So snugly and ridiculous. New Big Brother was a stinkin' adorable as ever and seems to be handling the changes ok for now.

My family on my mom's side were all gathering in the same city that weekend. I got to see my favorite aunt and uncle and all my cousins. It was a really fun weekend.

It has been so great seeing so much family! I really wish we all lived closer together.

And we are on the road again next week for a 28-hour round-trip to California. A.'s friend is getting married in Sacramento, and my babe is in the wedding. I have to admit, I am pretty excited to see him in a tux.

Plus, I need to get myself a ticket to DC as soon as possible. My best friend, Jel-Bel, had her first baby a week ago!! Lil' V arrived perfect as can be. 
While I am excited to meet Lil' V, I am even more anxious to see Jel-Bel. I am having a really hard time being separated from her while she transitions into this new life. We've done so much together that I can't believe I wasn't there to welcome her into motherhood. I mean, that is sacred, as far as I am concerned.

Speaking of which, I am not quite as confused about Baby or No Baby, but it is still on my mind. When I held my niece, I was not overcome with longing. I did not need to breathe her in. I was delighted by her, and couldn't get over her tiny ears, and am so, so happy for my sister. But...yeah. No "I MUST HAVE A BABY" episodes.
So, still confused. And getting older my the day. What bullshit.

Our trips have not been dog-friendly, so the mutts have been in jail quite often. I never know at which kennel to board them. 

Kennel A is our vet. I love our vet, she is pretty awesome with our dogs and readily recommended accupuncture for Buster. Meaning, she recommended services from another vet in which she will make no money. Not to mention that she is recommending an entirely different sort of treatment. I like her a lot. Also, these kennels have connected outdoor dog runs, so the pups can be outside as much as they want, which they prefer.

Kennel B is a really nice, new facility. It is also connected to a great vet practice, but the kennel section was specifically built to be a large kennel service. The staff are great with the dogs, and the dogs come back in the same state of anxiety as they do the other kennel. (They freak out when we leave, but settle in. Then they act like spazoids when we pick them up. It is kind of embarassing.) They get taken on three walks a day at Kennel B, but do not have access to a dog run.

The dogs come home smelling like a kennel when they stay at Kennel A, but do not stink when at Kennel B.

It also seems that the last two times they've been at Kennel A that they have come home with kennel cough (even though they are inoculated). 

I am leaning toward Kennel B, even if they don't have a dog run.

Thoughts? Remember, these are my babies.

We had Mountain Bluebirds nesting in our box again! And again, The Asshole Sparrows kicked them out. They tossed their eggs to the ground.
I was so sad. Furious.

Is there ANY WAY at all to deter sparrows? 

I am so fed up with this little shits that I DID NOT shoo-away a neighbor's cat when he came lurking. I looked the other way. I never do that.

I am going to make some meals and snacks to take with us on our trip to California. I am going to make homemade Chex Mix, popcorn popped with only oil infused with chilies (that way it stays crisp), and perhaps homemade granola bars. I will bring some cherries, grapes, strawberries, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, and string cheese.
I would like to have healthy foods available, both for health and budget. I feel so horrible by the end of most road trips, thanks to all the soda and crap food. I only eat this way on trips. With as much as we are traveling this summer, this baloney has to stop.

Do you have any other suggestions? I would love to hear them!

Happy Friday to you!