Thursday, November 8, 2007

Where the Hell I've Been

I am wrapping up my involvement in a four-day statewide conference and I am SO. TIRED. But that is boring news. Here are some of the less boring highlights of the past four days:

  • Being told, in an infuriatingly passive-aggressive way, what pages I missed typos on in the 400-page cookbook by the most infuriatingly passive-aggressive colleague of the bunch. Just tell me there is a goddamn typo on page 41 already. Jesus!;
  • Crashing a two-hour sexual harassment training. Because it sounded so! fun! Bonus: role-playing a girl-on-girl kiss from a case study in front of 200 colleagues;
  • Hearing the story for, um, at least the fourth time and with no diminished discomfort, of a colleague acting out childbirth in front of these same 200 colleagues as she “congratulated” a male colleague on the birth of his first child (it was the strangest thing I've ever heard of, but this lady is fucking crazy so I am not surprised.) Bonus: Crazy Spontaneous Childbirth Lady knows A.'s mom. She is always reminding me that she "has her eye on me." WTF?!?!;
  • Eating dinner hosted at an early education and childcare center, twitching all night as I waited to contract pink eye. (I am sure all of your kids are not germy little monkeys!);
  • Bullshitting with my favorite colleagues over margaritas and dozens of rounds of spoons well past midnight on Day Three/Four;
  • Dragging my ass to the 7:00 a.m. breakfast hosted by my department on Day Four.

I missed you guys! I’ve got oodles and oodles of post-reading to catch up on. Plan on some very tardy comments!

6 comments:

  1. I can't even imagine how one would begin "acting out child birth!" Eek! I'm experiencing empathic embarrassment for this woman and I do not know her, nor have I seen her acting.

    Also, I worked in a day care center for 4 years, and I had pink eye 18 times, and I also once got impetigo. Childcare providers should be paid more, that's all I'll say there.

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  2. We missed you too! Your RSS feed reader probably missed you even more than we did, as it must be choking under the weight of NaBloPoMo.

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  3. I once had a boss who kept COPIES of all my errors in a BINDER.

    Also, my kid is a total germ monkey, so I don't blame you there.

    Finally, Jess is right, you are SO SCREWED on catching up on blog posts.

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  4. Welcome back! My favourite thing about conferences is the after hours bullshitting with colleagues. And all kids are germy little monkeys. You should probably just go and get a prescrption.

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  5. oh this is so funny! such fun! yay childbirth enactment! yay girl on girl kisses!

    i wonder how many lawsuits come up from having to attend these Fun Training sessions. My previous co-worker Perry used to always say, oh boy sexual harrasment training, a how to guide, right? Gah!

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  6. omg. i am horrified by the childbirth reenactment.. and yet... i desperately want to see it done, as well.

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