Thursday, November 8, 2007

Where the Hell I've Been

I am wrapping up my involvement in a four-day statewide conference and I am SO. TIRED. But that is boring news. Here are some of the less boring highlights of the past four days:

  • Being told, in an infuriatingly passive-aggressive way, what pages I missed typos on in the 400-page cookbook by the most infuriatingly passive-aggressive colleague of the bunch. Just tell me there is a goddamn typo on page 41 already. Jesus!;
  • Crashing a two-hour sexual harassment training. Because it sounded so! fun! Bonus: role-playing a girl-on-girl kiss from a case study in front of 200 colleagues;
  • Hearing the story for, um, at least the fourth time and with no diminished discomfort, of a colleague acting out childbirth in front of these same 200 colleagues as she “congratulated” a male colleague on the birth of his first child (it was the strangest thing I've ever heard of, but this lady is fucking crazy so I am not surprised.) Bonus: Crazy Spontaneous Childbirth Lady knows A.'s mom. She is always reminding me that she "has her eye on me." WTF?!?!;
  • Eating dinner hosted at an early education and childcare center, twitching all night as I waited to contract pink eye. (I am sure all of your kids are not germy little monkeys!);
  • Bullshitting with my favorite colleagues over margaritas and dozens of rounds of spoons well past midnight on Day Three/Four;
  • Dragging my ass to the 7:00 a.m. breakfast hosted by my department on Day Four.

I missed you guys! I’ve got oodles and oodles of post-reading to catch up on. Plan on some very tardy comments!


  1. I can't even imagine how one would begin "acting out child birth!" Eek! I'm experiencing empathic embarrassment for this woman and I do not know her, nor have I seen her acting.

    Also, I worked in a day care center for 4 years, and I had pink eye 18 times, and I also once got impetigo. Childcare providers should be paid more, that's all I'll say there.

  2. We missed you too! Your RSS feed reader probably missed you even more than we did, as it must be choking under the weight of NaBloPoMo.

  3. I once had a boss who kept COPIES of all my errors in a BINDER.

    Also, my kid is a total germ monkey, so I don't blame you there.

    Finally, Jess is right, you are SO SCREWED on catching up on blog posts.

  4. Welcome back! My favourite thing about conferences is the after hours bullshitting with colleagues. And all kids are germy little monkeys. You should probably just go and get a prescrption.

  5. oh this is so funny! such fun! yay childbirth enactment! yay girl on girl kisses!

    i wonder how many lawsuits come up from having to attend these Fun Training sessions. My previous co-worker Perry used to always say, oh boy sexual harrasment training, a how to guide, right? Gah!

  6. omg. i am horrified by the childbirth reenactment.. and yet... i desperately want to see it done, as well.


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