I’ve decided I swear too much.
I should have come to this realization years ago when I sat down to my first Thanksgiving dinner with my new step-family and hollered “Fuck!” when I spilled gravy all over the table from the gravy boat. But, whatever. Fucking gravy boats.
I don’t know if it is because A.’s family doesn’t swear and so my verbal bombs seem particularly explosive or maybe I subconsciously up the profanity a few notches for whatever reason when I am around them, but spending time with his older sister and her hubby over the weekend brought my potty mouth to light. All I know is there were a few too many “God dammits” going on, even for my taste.
(A.’s heard his mother say shit exactly once, and the situation easily and fairly and genuinely warranted a lengthy, expletive-filled diatribe with fists pounding the tabletop for emphasis. She’s a saint, and even better, a saint that is not annoying. That is a rare combo to happen across.)
How the hell does one re-train oneself to stop swearing? (See! This is going to be IMPOSSIBLE!)
Can I manage to stop swearing out loud but still swear here, on this blog? I don’t know. I tend to “compose” posts in my head while I am out for walks (and then promptly forget them when I sit down in front of the computer) and if I am thinking about saying “what the fuck” I am sure to slip up and say it out loud. Especially if I am on a roll with the post in my head, getting all ragey or self-righteous and that roll extends to life in real-time, real-space. Also, sometimes I just need a good “fuck this shit” to express myself, you know?
(Hmm. Didn’t quite impart the level of frustration I was hoping to express. Damn.)
Anyway, it certainly wouldn’t hurt me to expand my vocabulary. A larger pallet of words at my disposal would certainly help me express myself with more deliberateness, more clarity. (And any carry over into my crafting of The Thesis would be fantastic, obviously.)
I wouldn’t mind sounding a tad more educated.
So, in the future you may see me experimenting with sentence construction containing a lot of the following: jeez, golly, shucks, darn it, cheese and crackers, flipping, and good grief. Also, is it “jeez,” “jeeze,” “geez,” or “geeze?”