Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I watched part of the Today Show this morning. I really do not like that show. My best friends, DPR and JelBel, used to watch it in the mornings as they ironed their clothes for work. I've never understood the appeal. I never understood the appeal of ironing, either.


Yesterday was a bit rough. I was in a funk, a funk I didn't really see coming on. A. saw it; for two days previous he was asking me how I felt, if I wanted to talk about anything. Why is that others can see me fade into a 4 or 3, but I don't see it until I am at the 4 or 3? I suppose this is something to try and pay attention to. I think I will keep a daily journal of how I am feeling to see if I notice any patterns.

Yesterday was difficult because it was also frustrating. I had no reason to feel badly, yet I did. I don't want to feel yucky, dammit!

I emailed JelBel and DPR and let them know I was having an off day. I never did that before. I figured hiding it from them hadn't helped me for the past six years, I might as well try something different, right?

I came home from work last evening and prepared for this morning. I knew the less I had to face this morning the easier it would be to get out of bed. I talked to A.; I forced myself to work on The Thesis for two hours. I did my full nighttime yoga routine and took my time getting ready for bed.

I felt better.Good, almost.


This morning has been a good one. I got up with my alarm (with a sweet and gentle nudge from A., accompanied by a patient smile) and did my morning yoga routine. I made the bed and had a load of laundry started before I was in the shower. I ate breakfast and enjoyed a cup of coffee while trying to watch the Today Show.

Other than that insipid show, it has been a wonderful morning. (No offense, faithful viewers!)

Today is good.


  1. I think it is great that you are starting to change the way you react to funky moods. And I think it's great that A. knows you well enough to see a funk coming on.

  2. Hugs to you and Hugs to A. I love picturing his patient nudge and smile... still gotta meet the guy :)

  3. I really admire how hard you are working at this, I really do. Glad to hear it's paying off.

  4. The Today Show is dreadful. ESPECIALLY since the addition of Kathie Lee. Gah. I actually avoid going to the gym until it's over because it's always on right above the elipticals and makes that twenty minutes take SOO much longer.
    Glad you're feeling better today.

  5. Well HI!

    Just stopping by, and now I see I'm in a similar funk, somewhat. Thanks for dropping by my (virtual) place.
    I think one of the reasons I don't tell people how I'm feeling is fear. Fear of falling apart -- which I seem to always do when people show concern about me. Do you ever feel like you don't even trust your own judgment about yourself? Well, I guess your post kind of indicates that... that's another problem. When I see a therapist, I get into this rut of telling them only the good stuff, too. UGH. Depression SUCKS.

  6. Oh, and the Today Show? Ugh, can't stand it either. :)

  7. Whenever I'm feeling particularly unplugged from the Rest of the World, I'll turn on the Today Show. It's my way of knowing what the rest of the perky world is up to, and it's usually nothing good. HA! But there it is. An explanation for my sometimes watching of the insipidness.

    I'm really glad that you're more aware of your feelings and emotions and trying to do something different - that's so important, and it's totally going to pay off.

    If that last bit sounded weird, I hope it didn't. Am feeling particularly unwordy today.


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