Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Hearing Aid

Earlier this evening, A. and I were driving home from dinner and listening to the Dodgers-Padres game on XM radio.

A.: Fucking Dodgers. My mom can't stand the announcer for the Dodger's. He won't work with a color announcer.

Me: What the fuck? What kind of asshole is this guy? Why the hell do the Dodger's let him announce? Jesus Christ.

A.: He's been announcing for years and he just wants to do it his way. Since he's been around forever he gets what he wants.

Me: Whatever he wants? How the hell is this legal? Why aren't Dodgers fans boycotting? What a son-of-a-bitch. I hope he ends up in a nursing home with a roommate that is black and feisty as hell and won't take his bullshit. I don't believe this.

A. (Throws his head back and starts laughing his ass off): Color announcer. Not colored announcer. (more hysterical laughing, slaps his knee) I was wondering why you were so fired up about this guy.

Me.: Ooooohhhh. Well, I thought it was weird that you used the phrase "colored announcer" but I thought you were demonstrating this guy's assholery or something.


Just one of the more-often-than-not daily examples of my poor hearing (and tendency to over-react and get all melodramatic on A.'s ass). As a read over this, I swear a helluva lot, too.


  1. Oh, that was awesome. I can't believe you thought he said "colored". Who says that? HAHAHAHA!

  2. I immediately channeled Miss Emily Latella saying, "Nevermind."

    And right--who says this? Apparently some folks still do. In conversation about some people from work I mentioned So-and-So. My co-worker said just as casual as you please, "Isn't he colored?" I was speechless. Just no comeback at all. Though I was attracting flies with my mouth hanging open.

  3. Ha ha ha! I thought the same as you: that there were air quotes around "color"--like it was what THE GUY said he wouldn't work with. I was getting ALL SET to write a pissy letter to the Dodgers!

  4. What's worse is that I even know the term color announcer and what it means: it's the person talking all the fluff about the players, their families, the stadium, blah, blah, blah while the other announcer calls the game. I am such a shining example of dumbassery, sometimes!

  5. Ha ha ha!

    It wasn't Joe Buck announcing, was it? I can't stand that guy.

  6. I have that problem, too. My hearing is really good when it comes to picking up sounds--like hearing quiet noises from far away. But it is not so good when it comes to distinguishing those sounds from one another. This is exacerbated by my terrible-quality cell phone and my fiance's German accent. Oh, well.

  7. You don't like Vin Scully? I am a die hard Parde fan, and I like Vin!

  8. Hey, I found out about shared spaces from a Yahoo! news article. Here it is: Yay! Hooray for outrage!


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