Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Buster, 2000 - 2012

He looked up into A.’s eyes as he went.

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After slow but steady improvement, Buster’s health took a quick and decisive turn for the worst Friday night. Belle, A., and I went down first thing Saturday morning and spent some time with him, loving on him, calling him all his many nicknames. Then we let him go.

It is the hardest thing I have ever done.

++++

Buster. Silly Goose. Goose. Orange-headed Goose. Damn Goose. Buster Butt. Orange-headed Mutt. Damn Mutt. Super Mutt. Littlest Boy. Little Guy. My Baby.

++++

I remember exactly when I fell in love with Buster. We were snuggling close, and I was petting the back of his neck. His hair changed from super soft orange to soft orange and black to course black and blond. I was studying the different colors and textures.

If anyone hurts a single hair on your body, I will kill them. The thought came to me clear as day and as genuine as a sunrise. I loved every single hair on that dog and every breath he took.

Buster was simply the sweetest dog. There is not other way to describe him, cliche as it may be. He was 100% love and innocence. He was the epitome of a good dog. He was perfect. Really. He trusted everyone. He was so loyal. My goodness, it warmed my heart to see how much he loved A. Buster would look me right in the eye and just love me.  His big, beautiful, incredibly dark brown eyes, rimmed in black. I am so glad A. was his daddy. Anyone less tender and kind could have really hurt Buster.

Buster just wanted to be with the people. (Though kids? Not so much.) He always wanted pets and loves. He’d stick his nose under your arm or hand and nudge you for pets. His ears were the softest I’d ever felt. That was his favorite spot. If you rubbed his ear just right he’d lean in and moan. He was a champion snuggler. He’d curl up with us, right in our armpits. He’d have his nose one inch from my face and snuggle in for a long session of cuddles. He’d sleep on my feet. He always let out a big sigh when he was settled in for the night.I miss the weight of him so, so much.

We always teased him, saying he wasn’t very bright, but that is not actually true. He was a very quick learner. He figured out to tip over the auto-waterer thing when it was almost empty. He’d just take a paw and knock it over, matter-of-factly.

His favorite place in the house was a spot where the sun shined just right in front of the wood stove. He’d just lay there and cook himself, happy as can be.

When he was happy and content he would roll over on his back and squiggle and scratch, using of his hind legs to really get some momentum going. He’d stand back up and shake, then pant and grin at us.

I could go on and on. I loved everything about this dog.

I am not used to talking about him in the past tense.

I feel like I am still supposed to go to Fort Collins and pick him up. How is he just gone? Just like that? I watched him go. I knew the very instant he was gone. It literally took my breath away.  I just don’t believe it. And, yet, I have cried for days straight. I cry at the slightest mention of him or when I look at the places he liked to nap. I look outside our window and can imagine him trotting around, just as I’d seen him do just days ago.

How is he just gone? I am so very, very sad.





17 comments:

  1. Oh, I am so sorry. I am in tears over here too. Buster had a wonderful life with you guys. I know that doesn't ease the pain of missing him, but you guys were able to give him everything a dog could want. I'm so sorry he's gone.

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  2. Im so sorry for you both, Buster was a very lucky dog to have such loving humans. You all are in my thoughts!

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  3. So, so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful friend and companion.

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  4. Poor puppy. Poor you. So sad.

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  5. oh, friend. i am so sorry for you both. buster was a lucky, lucky pup to have such loving owners. all of my hugs & thoughts & love out to you guys.

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  6. I am so sorry. And echoing what everyone else keeps saying- you sound like the best pet owners a dog could have had. I'm glad he didn't suffer too long. I know you will for awhile yet, so sending lots of hugs. :(

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  7. Oh honey. I am so so so so so very sorry. For your loss and A's loss. So very sorry. It is so very touching to see and hear how much you loved that dog. I never even met Buster and I swear I miss him.

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  8. There's a huge, sore lump in my throat while I type this. There are no words to ease the hurt, but I'll say it anyway. Sometimes mercy is the ultimate gift of love. I'm so sorry for you and A.

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  9. Oh, this is so sad. He sounds like just the perfect little companion. You were lucky to have each other. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  10. Oh, this is so sad. He sounds like just the perfect little companion. You were lucky to have each other. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  11. I am so sorry. What a great dog, and what great companions you were to him. Hugs.

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  12. Oh, no. I am so sorry for you guys. He sounds like he was the perfect dog for you. I'm so sorry he's gone.

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  13. No he conocido a Buster pero me queda claro cómo debió a través de tus palabras hacia él. Te podría decir que lo siento como si lo hubiese conocido, sin embargo -admitiendo la dureza de la vida- estoy seguro que fue feliz sabiéndose tan amado. Un fuerte abrazo desde España. Francisco

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  14. I just wish to say that I feel for you right now and I am so sorry for your loss. My beloved dog is getting old and I fear everyday what her loss from my life will mean. It sounds as though he was well loved and looked after and lead a very happy life with you, so don't think of his absence, those you love and who love you back never really leave us :)

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  15. Seared in your memory as he is, Buster will live on there. He'll never be replaced by any future pet. You'll always treasure memories of him. I know. Zoe affected me the same way—profoundly. She owns a place in my heart just like Buster does in yours. Take comfort in that place and know that your heart will grow to make space for future loves. I know this. It's hard to believe right now but it's true. The more we love, the bigger our heart grows. Be thankful that Buster enlarged yours.

    I'm thinking of you sweetie and hoping you feel happy again soon.

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  16. hi just saw your blog on random.. i have a dog too and she is just a puppy, can't imagine without her.. take care

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