I am in a funk.
There. I said it.
++++
I don't think it is a depression funk, per say. I think it is a normal, life-is-a-pain-and-kind-of-sucks-sometimes funk. I think.
++++
The Thesis is still not finished. It is getting much closer, but damn. It is still alive and taking up much too much of my headspace and energy. I just need to wrap it up, defend it and call it good. I hope to ship it off to my advisor next week. I am sure there will be more revisions after he sees it, but it will be his problem and not mine for a bit.
No doubt this has plenty to do with my mood.
++++
We have gone three days without a fire. It is nearly 80 degrees today. Problem is, I don't believe it.
I keep looking to the horizon to see when storm clouds will move in. There aren't any visible today. I feel totally discombobulated by this turn in weather-related events. Wha? Could it be? Could summer finally be here?
I am not sold just yet.
++++
I have a therapy appointment this afternoon. I am not in the mood. I just want to be left alone today, you know? Hm. Maybe I am in a depression funk. Shit.
Maybe not. Maybe I just don't feel like leaving work, where I am swamped, to go talk to someone about how my mother had more of an impact on my head than I realized. Maybe I am just not in the fucking mood.
++++
I am going to plant my ITTY BITTY garden this weekend. I think. Depends on if I believe Winter has finally left us for a few months.
++++
Perhaps being outside and doing something productive, that has nothing to do with sitting at a computer, will help. Let's hope so.
++++
DAMMIT. I need to cheer up already. What are some things that have made you grateful or delighted lately? Help a grumpy girl out, will ya?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Oh, I'm sorry. I've been sort of...FUNKY lately too. I am exciting about farmers market/grilling season though.
ReplyDeleteYou know what helped me yesterday? A short bike ride at dusk. The moon! The flickering of distant thunderstorms! The spring-evening smells!
ReplyDeleteOf course, I am back to funkiness today, but for those twenty minutes it was lovely.
You're right that everyone goes through funks. And I hope you're able to figure out if this is just the garden variety stress-related funk, or something more serious. What does A. think?
ReplyDeleteI've found that on the days I'm kinda grumpy and pissed, I get more out of my therapy sessions. I hope it was the same for you - painful though it may be.
ReplyDeleteAnd the only thing that can consistently make me smile is my garden. So plant it already! Just have back up seeds in case it's lying to you.
Baby kicks have been making me happy lately. And having the kids actually be so aware of my pregnancy, which I didn't really anticipate since Addy was pretty much oblivious with Eli. But this time! They say hi to my belly and lift up my shirt to kiss my tummy. It's so sweet!
ReplyDeleteSo, uh, maybe randomly let little kids kiss your belly?? Or just make out with A. randomly. Those kisses are good too.
A bit of exercise never SOUNDS like a good idea but it does a world of good for the 'tude. I also find it helpful to look at gals in tight clothing but that might not be as useful for you.
ReplyDeleteBOH
If you're still in the Funk...
ReplyDeleteGo for a walk with the dogs.
Pick up the phone and talk with a friend.
Watch An American in Paris.
Check out The Muppets or Sesame Street on YouTube.
Bake your favorite librarian some cookies.
Watch this: http://tinyurl.com/33768ch and this: http://tinyurl.com/3x2syqs
Get some exercise. Yes. A good walk will get the endorphins going.