Yesterday was an off day. I has a really, really hard time getting out of bed, and then as soon as I got home from work I curled up on the couch and didn't move. It was less that I couldn't get out of bed and more that I didn't care to. Either way, kind of scary and not fun. I was lethargic and blah all day. It wasn't the worst day I've had, but it was the first 4 day (on my little scale of 1 to 10) since being on meds.
All of this reminds me to bring up with my therapist tomorrow that I really, really want to learn some behavioral changes/tools/techniques that I can employ when feeling a funk coming on or find my self in the middle of one. I have some tools I use for anxiety attacks; I'd like a similar toolchest to help me with the funky days, too.
I noticed myself saying, "I should get up," "I should do the dishes," "I should go read for The Thesis," etc. After a while, I reminded myself that it was okay to have an off day. I reminded myself I don't have to believe those "shoulds." Tomorrow will be better.
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I am feeling a bit better today.
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I feel awful that this is my first comment to you on the subject . . . I am most impressed with how you are dealing with/handling this your health. I think it's wonderful that you are writing about it and I hope that your therapist listens and works with you. I've been in therapy with about 5 different therapist over the course of 15 years, and only one of them did I really feel a good vibe with. Good luck tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteI am honestly enjoying (which seems a weird/insensitive way to put it, but I can't think of another) hearing about your journey with this depression/anxiety stuff. I think so many people go through it to some degree or another, and it's so refreshing and helpful to hear from someone else what they do on those "funk" days.
ReplyDeletei'd be interested to hear what tools you learn to help with off days / off moods. i could use some :-)
ReplyDeleteI love the way you explain how you are feeling, if that doesn't sound rude. What I mean is, not many people really realize how scary the lethargy is, or are able to step back and say "nope, I'm not going to beat myself up over this" when in the throws of a funk. Impressive.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to share some of the techniques you've learned. So far, for anxiety I have learned to: flip out, hyperventilate, cry, shut down, and sleep. Are these not the good techniques?
I'm sorry you had such a bad day, but I'm glad that it's not continued into today and that you are proactively seeking assistance in learning how to approach these kinds of days in the future. I have faith that you will be able to learn some techniques to help you deal. Good luck at your therapy appointment.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that today was better than yesterday. Perhaps tomorrow will be better than today, but then again it might not. Either way, remember that you have a community of loved ones who will continue to support you.
ReplyDeleteYou are so smart to give yourself permission to have an off day. The more you beat yourself up over it, the worse you feel, etc. And I'm with Alice, I'd love to hear some of the tips you learn to deal with an off day.
ReplyDeleteJust like verybody else, please share your coping tools. I love somebody who suffers from anxiety and would lvoe to be able to share some new ideas.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Whimsy. I think it's so important to allow and forgive and move on from the down days.
ReplyDeleteI hope there are fewer and fewer down days in your future.