Wow, you guys are such a wonderfully supportive group! I am so thankful for you. I can't tell you how happy I am to be out of my particular brand of closet! Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking my hand as I wobbled out.
Thank you.
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There is a very, very uncomfortable fence post up my butt. I am unsure of how I feel about my current therapist. Currently, I am tipping toward the side of: I don't think I trust her, I think she has Pet Issues she is transposing onto me, and I don't think we are communicating well. At least, I hope this is the case and not that I am resisting the long and very difficult work ahead of us. This is the scary and hard part - am I just so thoroughly in denial -- in general -- that I am refusing to be present with her and do the work that needs to be done? Or, are we just not a good fit. I do not know.
So, I have an appointment today. Unless I fell drastically different about our session by the end of it, I will be hunting for a new therapist. Dammit. That just sounds so damned exhausting. Bah.
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It is a glorious spring day! All of the oodles and oodles of snow that dumped on us over the weekend is melting. Spring! At the very least I can look forward to transporting myself to my dreaded appointment today - I will be walking! Oh, how I love to go for walks.
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Also related to the arrival of Spring: Baseball! Woot! It is Opening Day! Oh, how that adds a spring to my step.
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Happy Monday to you, my friends.
Thank you.
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There is a very, very uncomfortable fence post up my butt. I am unsure of how I feel about my current therapist. Currently, I am tipping toward the side of: I don't think I trust her, I think she has Pet Issues she is transposing onto me, and I don't think we are communicating well. At least, I hope this is the case and not that I am resisting the long and very difficult work ahead of us. This is the scary and hard part - am I just so thoroughly in denial -- in general -- that I am refusing to be present with her and do the work that needs to be done? Or, are we just not a good fit. I do not know.
So, I have an appointment today. Unless I fell drastically different about our session by the end of it, I will be hunting for a new therapist. Dammit. That just sounds so damned exhausting. Bah.
++++
It is a glorious spring day! All of the oodles and oodles of snow that dumped on us over the weekend is melting. Spring! At the very least I can look forward to transporting myself to my dreaded appointment today - I will be walking! Oh, how I love to go for walks.
+++++
Also related to the arrival of Spring: Baseball! Woot! It is Opening Day! Oh, how that adds a spring to my step.
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Happy Monday to you, my friends.
Posts
I am learning so much about Pet Issues being transferred to other people as I start this weight-loss surgery thing. I got a comment on one of my posts today saying that I wasn't emotionally ready to lose weight, and that as soon as I started eating healthy foods I would discover that I had severe emotional issues that I was self-medicating with the nine bags of potato chips that I apparently eat every day. I was totally blindsided by the incredibly off-base remark until I saw that the commenter wrote, "I know. I've been there." And then I realized that this is Her Issue and she is projecting it onto other people whom she sees as similar in one way or another.
ReplyDeleteBlogging about WLS is making me think that blogging about parenting is going to drive me CRAZY. Everyone is there knowing what happened to them and why, and assuming that they can safely tell everyone else that that's how it will be for THEM and why, too. Urgh.
Sorry about the therapist. That sounds really exhuasting.
ReplyDeleteBUT. BASEBALL! Somehow opening day of baseball feels like a big, cold weight being lifted off our collective selves. I love baseball. LOVE.
Good luck with the therapist match. (Sounds like tennis, doesn't it?) The matching process, I guess I should say. Your instincts are probably telling you something useful, even if you're not quite sure what that is (what a helpful comment!)
ReplyDeleteI think you're right to listen to your gut about your therapist- even if it WAS you reacting to the hard work ahead, that "I can't trust her" feeling is a hard one to shake. Plus, until you've run through several therapists and found ALL of them to be untrustworthy, it seems way more likely that it's just a bad fit rather than "something is wrong with YOU because you don't love this therapist."
ReplyDeletei'm with pseudostoops - i think the non-trusting vibe is probably separate from the looking-for-a-reason-to-be-in-denial vibe. i wouldn't feel bad about looking into other therapists at all. from what i hear, nearly EVERYONE ends up "shopping around" for therapists before finding a "good fit." you owe it to yourself to find someone who can help you the most, you know? and that won't be someone you don't trust..
ReplyDeleteI'm totally in with Alice and pseudostoops - nothing wrong with shopping around. I think you're wise to do it, actually. I didn't listen to my gut with the first shrink I had, and it was an awful fit; and I continued to see her for a long while, all the while not getting much out of the time we spent together. What a waste of time. In the end, when I did finally find someone that I could work with, it was really wonderful. STILL A TON OF WORK, and HARD WORK at that, but when it's a good relationship, with someone you trust and can listen to, it is worth it.
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