Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Thank You, But I Would Really Rather Sleep In

The past weekend was filled with family. A.'s mom retired so we all put together a small, sweet, SURPRISE retirement party for her. We totally got her; she had NO IDEA. So fun! She even asked A. and I to come up for the weekend a few days earlier and was totally perturbed when we told her we had plans. She was so happy to see us. So. Fun.

The four nieces and nephews on that side of our family where there, too. They have almost grown out of the stage where at least one is crying at nearly all times, and boy, it makes a huge difference in my ability to enjoy having all the little monkeys around.

I am quite thankful, however, that I do see these little people so frequently. We all just fall into step and march along, quite comfortable with each other. I am delighted to help them out with projects and am also not the least bit hesitant to remind them to tell someone "thank you." It is a nice, warm, encounter with these guys. I like it.

++++

Regardless of my ability to insist on manners from small people, it seems I am still incapable of becoming an actual adult. And it is starting to make me feel like shit.

I simply cannot get to work on time. I am always 15 to 20 minutes late. (Part of this is I am burnt out, but 99% of it is something else all together.)

It's almost as though I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what a relaxing, early morning looks like. And therefore, I have no ability to get up and create that morning, because I just don't even know what it looks like.

I have never been a morning person, even as a child. And it is especially horrible in the winter. I have distinct memories of feeling positively miserable in the morning and eating breakfast before elementary school, all the while it was still dark outside and gloomy inside. That has never left me. I hate winter mornings so very much.

I am so embarrassed by this, but maybe if I admit out the the Internet Universe I will finally find a way to deal with it.

It makes me feel so stupid.

Anyway.

What do you like to do with your time in the mornings? Watch the news or read the paper? Catch up on housework so your evenings are free? Talk on the phone with family? I need to come up with a small, easy activity that will motivate me to change. I just can't take it anymore.


9 comments:

  1. I'm not sure how much help I am on the morning question. I am definitely a morning person: even though getting out of sleep is hard, I love getting up early and just being awake when everyone else is asleep and not bothering me. However, being a morning person does not translate into being on time at work. Alas. There are just too many other things I'd rather do.

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  2. I like to have enough time in the mornings, and I do it by being a basketcase if I'm even a minute late, which is highly motivating. If I were routinely 15-20 minutes late, I would start by setting my alarm 20 minutes early---but that's like suggesting that someone who wants to lose weight should eat less: totally unhelpful and duh-ish and useless because things don't work that way. I have a chronically late friend, and if she got up 20 minutes early she'd still be 20 minutes late: it's like having an internal timer/compass/whatever that is just skewed that way no matter what. I think I'd have to go to her house and set all her clocks 20 minutes early and have her never discover it.

    I hate hate hate dark mornings. Right now I have to get up at 5:30, and it is such a joy that it's already LIGHT out. One million times easier than getting up at 5:30 in the winter and still having two hours of dark windows.

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  3. All I can say is that I sympathize with you. One of the truly great joys of being a stay at home parent is that I (generally) don't have to be anywhere super early. Yes, I do have to get up and get my KID ready for school, but I can do it unshowered and shuffling around in yoga pants with fuzzy teeth. Most days when I get done rushing her to school I come home, make coffee, and kind of collapse and re-awaken for about an hour. She has never been late to school because of me, and it's one of the things I am proudest of in my life, because I myself was ALLLLWAYS late to school. But apparently the shame of causing my child to be late is more motivating, somehow.

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  4. I've always been a morning person, but I swear that it's b/c I generally get enough sleep. It's one of the few rewards in being childless, I think. Are you sleeping enough? I'm guessing no, b/c you said that you're burnt out. But if you had a solid 8-9 hours of sleep and actually felt RESTED, would you hate mornings so much?

    If that's not the case, then maybe it's just one of those things about yourself that you have to accept. You're not a morning person and that's ok. I still go to bed when it's light out sometimes. That's ok. It's the beauty of being an adult. You get to eat and sleep when you want. :-)

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  5. Ugh. I am not a morning person, but I've been getting up at 6:30 (even though I don't need to leave for work until 8:30) because I thought I could be PRODUCTIVE! with my EXTRA TIME!

    It doesn't work out that way. Ever. I have no desire to be awake that early. Sometimes I lift weights and my attitude during this time can best be described as "sullen, and really, really angry." I get half ready, and then cuddle up with Shorty on the bed to read for a good 30-50 minutes. It's the only time of day I get alone and I need it desperately, lest I rip Jason's face off later.

    I usually lose track of time and have to scramble to finish getting ready. It'll never change. Today I had deadlines up the wazoo and got up at 6:00 and came straight to work, and now I feel CHEATED out of my alone time.

    (Jason is a morning person and gets up to run at 5:00 a.m. Whenever he even tries to suggest that I do the same, I want to murder him.) What's good for the insane goose is not good for the sleepy gander!

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  6. I'm a conditional morning person. I like to be up when the sun is up, and down when it goes down. One of the few good things about living in Malawi was that it is so close to the equator, there isn't a huge shift in daylight. I have a terrible time with both super-long and super-short days.

    I do tend to pack in a lot during the morning because I know that anything I really want to get done has to get done first thing. So I have quality tummy-rub time with Rowen, do yoga, pray, journal, shower, eat, check e-mail, work on my dissertation. Altogether, I have about a three-hour morning routine!

    But that's not much help for you. Is it possible/desirable to change your work schedule to fit your own body rhythms better? Can you work a 10-6 schedule instead of 9-5 (or whatever your current workday is)?

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  7. I think you're a morning person or you're not. I am, but Homer is not. I get up early and bake, do laundry, get the lunches ready, etc. and love my time alone. Homer does not know how to have a leisurely morning. No matter what time he has to be someplace, he's racing out the door, barely making it on time. He would not make good use of any extra time in the morning, even if he had it. Maybe you should just focus to getting to work at a certain time, knowing you'll be flying out of the door to get there and forget about accomplishing anything else in the morning?

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