Friday, March 4, 2011

Friday Five

1. My doctor and I have been mixing new med cocktails. I think we have hit the right combo, but damn. In the meantime, I have been having such vivid and realistic dreams. I've asked A. about three times about this thing we did/talked about/saw that never happened. I think he is wondering which kind of crazy with which he prefers to live.

2. Also, if I hit snooze, I still go straight into these dream/semi-conscious things. Like mini-dreams, but not REM-like dreams. It is EXHAUSTING. And very disorienting. 

I suppose one way around the mini-dream marathon is to quit hitting snooze and just get up. 

3.  We have had gorgeous temps in the 40s all week. That means the 5-foot drifts are all melting. We've only had about three spots in the road turn into mud pits, but boy. My little Civic has a hard time.

The last time I attempted to drive it to the house I thought I'd be sneaky and avoid one of the mud traps with the deep ruts by driving on the snow to the side of the dirt road.

Uh huh. 

I should have known this was a very, very bad idea. As soon as I hit the snow bank that looked deceivingly like a simple, shallow layer of snow, the bank sort of collapsed under my tires, because it was all melty and unstable inside. And also much deeper than I thought. And more stupid. My car violently sunk down into the  snow bank. The snow bank that had no structural integrity. A great situation to be in. 

I know how Lois Lane felt when her car fell into that horrible, sandy crack in the first Superman movie.  

I should have been stuck and high-centered, except that my poor little car crashed down so damn hard that it bounced back up. Bounced. Boingy. Like I had hydraulic shocks installed and was listening to some norteno music. I need a flashier paint job to really pull that off, though. But I am totally bad-ass enough. Totally.

I gunned it while in the air and caught some new snow. Basically, I  was off-roading in a civic. The view outside my windshield never stayed the same for more than half a second. I was all over the place. Just bouncing and revving and swerving and it was ridiculous. It was even more bouncy and jolty that when A. drives the truck on rutted two-track roads and sagebrush while out hunting. RIDICULOUS.

You guys. I looked like an idiot woman driver! I gave credence to that infuriating stereotype!  

My car seems to be running fine. Tough little thing. It is now parked at the highway and we take the four-wheel drive truck that has clearance to the highway from the house.

4. Everyone near and dear to me are having babies and it is starting to mess with my head. 

5. Prior to this little warm spell, I bought Buster a coat to wear. He doesn't get nearly the undercoat that Belle does, and he is not a fan of the cold.

Now, every plan I've had to improve the quality of these dogs' lives, every attempt I've made at establishing new routines have all gone down in a pile of flames. For instance, when I replaced some of Buster's food with green beans to help him lose weight, Belle ate all the green beans and nothing else, while Buster ate both of their regular food. So he was getting more food and Belle was happily eating veggies. (Seriously - she LOVES carrots. She steals peeling out of the trash while I am cooking. She just does this casual walk-by thing and doesn't even slow down. Little shit.) 

These two find ways around my plans every. single. time.


You guys! I totally won! I won this round!! Buster loves  his coat. I think he actually understands that it keeps him warm. He just hangs out and wags his tail while I put it on him. He doesn't even squirm or act like an idiot!

Dogs: 19, Artemisia: 1

Happy Friday to you!

P.S. Isn't Buster a cutie? EARS!


  1. Ha ha! I love "off-roading in a CIVIC."

    He is so handsome in his coat!

    My baby fever really kicked in when a close friend of mine got pregnant. It's like it suddenly dawned on me that this was a possibility.

  2. Swistle = EXACTLY. Plus, I just turned 35 and I am nothing if not a procrastinator. And indecisive.

  3. Off-roading in your Civic! HA. I would pay cash money to see you do that. :)

    Our weatherman said today, "That 6-12 inches we're talking about for next Thursday? Yeah, throw that model away. It's gonna be more like 12 to TWENTY inches." Gah.

    I also hear you on the baby thing. Lately, people we know have been having girls, and while boy babies are cute, girl babies do something to me. As I'm about to turn 37, this is a little frightening since J. & I decided: no babies. I've also been dreaming about girl babies too. Sigh.

    Buster! Those ears are ADORABLE. I love that he loves his jacket. Dogs in jackets make me happy. Please buy him a pair of goggles next. :)

  4. Jim has those mini-dreams you described constantly. Like, we'll be laying in bed talking, he'll drift off, and literally about two minutes later jerk awake talking about this dream he just had. And I'm all, "You were barely even asleep!"

  5. Yep, it seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant, too. Including both my Malawian sister and my biological sister. So I'm going to be an auntie three times over! And despite years of saying that I have no desire to have kids of my own, I'm suddenly having that turning-35 panic.

    Buster is completely adorable. Rowen is okay with her jacket, but my attempts to get her to wear booties have all been epic fails. It takes at least half an hour to get all four on, and then she just lies there like I've chopped off her feet. But then she goes outside and is limping and whinging after two minutes because she gets ice and salt in her paws.

    Silly dogs.


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