My uncle's memorial is this Saturday. I am struggling with whether or not to go. The trip is 12 hours one way and I can't really take any time off from work right now.
My plan is to drive six hours Friday night, finish the trip Saturday morning, attend the memorial and hang out with the family for a few hours, drive four to six hours toward back toward home and finish the trip on Sunday. maybe if I arrive home before 6:00 p.m. I won't feel so fucking wrecked the entire next week.
Normally, I would never drive 24 hours to spend five hours with people. But this is my uncle's memorial. It will also quite likely be the last time I see my grandmother. We are not close, but you know, it is a respect thing.
What do I do?
If I am being hones, I really want to stay home. It is out of a sense of obligation and good old fashioned guilt that I feel like I should go. True, I would like to see everyone, and I would like to be there to say goodbye to my uncle. He had a very, very lonely death. A death that will haunt me for the rest of my days, I am afraid. At least I could be there now, right?
Again, what would you do?
I am tossing around the idea of setting a Final Date for The Thesis. Either it is done or I walk away from it on Halloween.
A. and I got home from work last night at nearly 8:00 p.m. As is my custom, I darted to the bedroom to change into my jammies and shed the ornaments of work: my watch, necklace, rings, earrings, contacts.
It was only then that I noticed I had two very different earrings hanging from my ears. Both were long and beaded, but still quite different. Thankfully, I had worn my hair down so I do not think anyone noticed.
However, what the fuck? I cannot even dress, groom, or accessorize myself properly anymore! I need an honest-to-gawd vacation. NOW.
Happy Wednesday to you!