A couple of weeks ago, at 5:15 a.m.:
[alarm radio clicks on]
Alarm Radio: "...and then there was this light, it followed me through the house, th-- through my kitchen, into my bedroom and kind of swooshed through the window behind my head...they seemed to know everywhere I was...the lights never faded..."
Me [mumbling, grumpily into my pillow]: What the hell is that woman talking about?
A. [up and about, chipper as shit]: When the aliens finally found her.
Me: [Consider what it must be like to be abducted. Consider this seriously. To the point of making myself freak out a little.]
[Imagine further what alien abduction might entail. Graphically.]
[Am fully awake, now.]
Alarm Radio: "...it is imperative that people be warned of what is happening. Everyone needs to know what signs to look for..."
Me [rolling over, finally coming up for air from my comfy, comfy pillow]: What the hell station did you tune the radio to?
A. [walking out the bedroom door]: I didn't. It tuned itself.