Friday Five

1. My doctor and I have been mixing new med cocktails. I think we have hit the right combo, but damn. In the meantime, I have been having such vivid and realistic dreams. I've asked A. about three times about this thing we did/talked about/saw that never happened. I think he is wondering which kind of crazy with which he prefers to live.


2. Also, if I hit snooze, I still go straight into these dream/semi-conscious things. Like mini-dreams, but not REM-like dreams. It is EXHAUSTING. And very disorienting. 


I suppose one way around the mini-dream marathon is to quit hitting snooze and just get up. 


3.  We have had gorgeous temps in the 40s all week. That means the 5-foot drifts are all melting. We've only had about three spots in the road turn into mud pits, but boy. My little Civic has a hard time.


The last time I attempted to drive it to the house I thought I'd be sneaky and avoid one of the mud traps with the deep ruts by driving on the snow to the side of the dirt road.


Uh huh. 


I should have known this was a very, very bad idea. As soon as I hit the snow bank that looked deceivingly like a simple, shallow layer of snow, the bank sort of collapsed under my tires, because it was all melty and unstable inside. And also much deeper than I thought. And more stupid. My car violently sunk down into the  snow bank. The snow bank that had no structural integrity. A great situation to be in. 


I know how Lois Lane felt when her car fell into that horrible, sandy crack in the first Superman movie.  


I should have been stuck and high-centered, except that my poor little car crashed down so damn hard that it bounced back up. Bounced. Boingy. Like I had hydraulic shocks installed and was listening to some norteno music. I need a flashier paint job to really pull that off, though. But I am totally bad-ass enough. Totally.


I gunned it while in the air and caught some new snow. Basically, I  was off-roading in a civic. The view outside my windshield never stayed the same for more than half a second. I was all over the place. Just bouncing and revving and swerving and it was ridiculous. It was even more bouncy and jolty that when A. drives the truck on rutted two-track roads and sagebrush while out hunting. RIDICULOUS.


You guys. I looked like an idiot woman driver! I gave credence to that infuriating stereotype!  


My car seems to be running fine. Tough little thing. It is now parked at the highway and we take the four-wheel drive truck that has clearance to the highway from the house.


4. Everyone near and dear to me are having babies and it is starting to mess with my head. 


5. Prior to this little warm spell, I bought Buster a coat to wear. He doesn't get nearly the undercoat that Belle does, and he is not a fan of the cold.


Now, every plan I've had to improve the quality of these dogs' lives, every attempt I've made at establishing new routines have all gone down in a pile of flames. For instance, when I replaced some of Buster's food with green beans to help him lose weight, Belle ate all the green beans and nothing else, while Buster ate both of their regular food. So he was getting more food and Belle was happily eating veggies. (Seriously - she LOVES carrots. She steals peeling out of the trash while I am cooking. She just does this casual walk-by thing and doesn't even slow down. Little shit.) 


These two find ways around my plans every. single. time.


Behold:

You guys! I totally won! I won this round!! Buster loves  his coat. I think he actually understands that it keeps him warm. He just hangs out and wags his tail while I put it on him. He doesn't even squirm or act like an idiot!


Dogs: 19, Artemisia: 1


Happy Friday to you!


P.S. Isn't Buster a cutie? EARS!

Toiling

Things are the same and boring. I am still working on Master's crap, A. is still job hunting, We have ridiculous snow/ice drifts that may never melt away, and the dogs are still adorable idiots.

++++

I am surprised at how much I care about this, but I want to share. I started using Too Faced's Shadow Insurance and it is AWESOME. If you want your eye shadow to stay put and look really, really even and silky, use this stuff. At $18 for a tiny tube, it is a splurge. But I use an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny dot of the stuff on each lid and that is it. I expect it will last for a year or longer. It works so, so well that I don't regret purchasing it in the slightest. And I am not really into make up, you know?

I can't believe I am this excited about make up, but this is really a snazzy little potion.

Do you have a beauty tip that just makes your day? 

Also, does anyone actually wear lipstick on any kind of regular basis? Everyday to work? Out grocery shopping? Just wondering.

++++

This last hill toward The Completed Master's has been kind of crazy, but for the most part I am holding up. So far. I am reading all the fucking time: for my paper, my exam, and my independent study.

Have I told you I have to take an independent study to have enough credit hours for this Plan B bullshit? I cannot remember. Well, I need three more credits, so I am doing "guided reading" with Prof. D., whom I should have had as my advisor all along. (It is soooooo hard not to slap myself silly over this. I really, REALLY should have had Prof. D as my advisor all along. Jesus, I was so stupid. Let this be a cautionary tale for all of you: Fuck loyalty and do what is best for you.)

Prof. D. and I are reading about food and foodways and whatnot. This is totally the stuff I read about all the damn time anyway, and is a topic near and dear to both of us. The first few readings  are to help with my Plan B paper, and so far, I have been able to incorporate them. (Hopefully this means I won't have to write another goddamned paper for the IS.) I love what I am reading, I am just reading ALL THE TIME. Currently, I am reading Taste of Place: A Cultural Journey into Terrior by Amy B. Trubek. I highly recommend it. Trubek approaches the local/organic idea around food with more nuanced approaches than what the popular "foodies" have offered. It is rather theory-heavy, but worth it.

I am also reading Alice Waters' The Art of Simple Food. This isn't on my reading list. A. gave it to me for Christmas. It is so good! And is actually a wonderful compliment to Taste of Place. I recommend it heartily!

I need to be writing more, and hope to really put away some pages tonight. I have a good momentum going, and truly see the light at the end of this ridiculous tunnel. Finally.

How are you all?

Thick Wool Socks

Lame as it is, the weather is the big news around here.

We didn't get snow (or even wind! THANK GOD!) but we had cooooold weather. Yesterday, as I left for work, it was -40F. (If it had been windy, the windchill was expected to be -65F. WTF!!) All of our hot water pipes had frozen, so I took a shower at the gym over my lunch hour. Jesus. Today, it was only -5F and it feels GORGEOUS outside. Ridiculous!

While on the one hand I am all proud of how tough we all are (or stupid"?), I do wish they would have canceled school. I can't believe that kids were outside waiting for the buses in this weather.


It was a bit of a zoo in the morning. Our friend, MG, stayed with us instead of driving to his home 60 miles to the south. We didn't want him traveling in a less-than-dependable truck in this kind of cold, and he had enough sense to feel the same way. His truck didn't start yesterday. Nor did my car. So he, A., the two dogs and I all piled into our pick up and I proceeded to drop everyone off at class, work, or the kennel. Today the pups are home, as it is supposed to get over 30 degrees ABOVE ZERO. Buster is sporting his new coat, however. I still had to drop A. and MG off at their respective locations. It is kind of a cozy routine.

I totally used the excuse of no hot running water to get out of making dinner. A. picked up pizza for dinner. Score!

Strangely, I am not pining for summer just yet. What the hell?

Stay warm, everyone!

What's Your Status?

Winter has certainly moved in to stay. We have enormous, solid drifts that keep us from parking in our driveway. We simply park in the lane and walk the rest of the way to the house. I am just pumped that the lane is clear enough that I can drive my little car and not have to sacrifice my schedule to A.'s all the time, or vice-versa.

It is 35 degrees outside and feels positively balmy. In fact, I drove in to work with my window completely down. Because it is so warm outside.

Winter.

++++

Things are moving along very well with the Non-Thesis-Bullshit-But-Masters-Crapola. I am taking an independent study with my favorite committee member, J., and the difference in how we work together is staggering. I don't feel like a goddamned idiot or nusuance; I feel like I have some really good ideas and questions to offer and that I come up with some pretty good prespectives. In fact, he's asked me to teach a couple sessions of his Fall food ways class. It is nice to remember I am bright and have something to offer.

For the independent study, I am looking at urban farming and the locavore movement. Pretty fun shit. This is what I read about on my own all the time, because I am a nerd. NERD. I am in good company. My professor, J., stole two books I brought in as suggestions for the course!

I am taking these 3 credits to have enough credits to finish a Plan B master's instead of a thesis. So far, I am very, very happy with my decision to switch to a Plan B and things are moving along a steady clip. I am busy as all hell, and read every night and should still be reading more somehow, but it is going well. I am enjoying the material again. I don't think our field is bullshit. I remember why I came back to grad school.

I working on revising my thesis into a 30-page, publishable essay. It is hard to rip out so much work.

My adviser is still mostly unhelpful, but I am working around him.  I plan to plop the essay in his lap after working with my IS professor on it. For my sanity. I deserve that much.

++++

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago to reevaluate my meds, as I was slipping. I am feeling better, but not 100%. I am trying, and I think have been successful, to remind myself it is a process and not to feel discouraged.

++++

The dogs continue to be lovable idiots, and A. is still my rock star.


++++

How are you all?

Herd

This morning, after I dropped A. off at work, I slowed the truck down because I saw a black lab running his damn heart out in the field to my right. As I'd feared, he indeed ran across the road without a thought of the traffic. Happily, everyone else had noticed him and slowed to a crawl as well.

I watched him as he got to the field to the left and noticed that he was REALLY RUNNING. I mean - as hard as he could. He wasn't just running around, enjoying the snow and what was clearly his newfound freedom.

He was chasing a heard of 12 antelope. In the middle of town. Across two major thoroughfares. (As major as they get in a town that has a 12-head herd of antelope in it.)

I turned to follow him, to try and get him to back off and see if he had owners I could call. He was pooped out, and turned around and began trotting back in his original direction. The antelope just stared at them, not even out of breath. I could catch up with him, but called Animal Control. I didn't want the pup getting hit by a car, and I didn't want the antelope to be stressed further.

I was wide awake by the time I made it in to work, that is for sure.

Happy Thursday to you!

2010

Yearly recap: 2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Spread ashes of loved ones.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


Resolutions for 2010:

1. Floss daily.- Achieved! Flossing truly kicks ass, folks.
2. Finish thesis. - Failed. However, I finally made progress and there is momentum. So, let’s call this 50/50.

Resolutions for 2011:

1. Do not let any produce that I buy go to waste.
2. Finish the god-damned master’s already.
3. Make some changes to my lifestyle to benefit my health and well-being, whatever they need to be.
4. Listen to music and enjoy myself more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


Unfortunately, yes. We have lost a lot of people this year, and it really has been difficult. My favorite uncle died alone and it still haunts me every day. Both of A.’s best friend’s parents passed on within months of each other after long and painful declining health. And just a few days ago, A.’s step-great-grandmother passed away. She lived along, good, feisty life of 102 years, however. It is still strange not to have her here, though.

5. What countries did you visit?
None, unfortunately. 


6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Some forward momentum. Most especially, I would really like for A. to have a job in his field. 

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I don’t have exact dates, but there are some moments that will always be with me. Realizing my uncle was alone when he died. Looking out the car window on one of our trips to support A.’s friend as his father’s death was around the corner. Spreading the ashes of J.’s parents. A. making breakfast in the cabin during our fly fishing trip.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


I faced some really icky issues in therapy. I met them head on. I am stronger than I realized. Also, when I started to slip into another depression I tackled that shit straight on and took care of myself. I am so proud of that. And so thankful.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Finishing the god-damned Thesis.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes; falling in the shower like a dumbass. Thankfully, no illness found its way into our household this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The lazyboy recliner loveseat thing. It is pretty damn awesome. 

12. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, unfortunately.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Our second annual fly-fishing  trip in western Wyoming.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I used to listen to music ALL THE TIME. Now, I hardly ever listen to it. Um, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga?

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier.

– thinner or fatter? Fatter. And in even poorer shape and health. Wow. Typing that is one helluva wake up call.

– richer or poorer? Smidge richer. A smidge.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d done more yoga and fly fishing. 

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eating like crap and stressing about the Thesis/Masters bullshit. 

18. How did you spend Christmas?
This was my first Christmas at home. A.’s folks, his stepbrother, his younger sister and her boyfriend, 4-year-old son, 2-year-old daughter and 6-month-old puppy celebrated with us in our tiny l little home. It was actually pretty awesome. It was humble, but awesome. I cooked my first turkey, and holy hell did I ever knock that one out of the park! 

19. What was your favorite TV program?
M*A*S*H and The Walking Dead.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Oh, geez. The entire Sookie Stackhouse series. I am not going to apologize for that, either.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?


I heard “A Prayer of Desmond Tutu” by James Whitbourn on NPR’s All Things Considered and just cried for loving it so much.  

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 34 and it was a pretty low-key day. 

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A. getting a job in his field.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

I actually started to give a damn! I bought more clothes for myself in 2010 than in all my adult years combined. I’d say I was shooting for classic and tailored, like Diane Keaton or Audrey Hepburn. I didn’t really hit the mark, but that was my inspiration.

26. What kept you sane?

My honey, A. And fly fishing.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.


Life is comings and goings, and all of them are divine and blessed.