Buster is consistently doing "fake jumps" before he finally jumps up onto the bed in the morning. These scrambly, hoppy acrobatics are like false starts, like he has to convince himself he can do it or he is warming up his hips or something.
It is breaking my heart.
I find myself thinking about when it is time to give that ultimate gift: mercy. To let the dogs go when they are old and in pain. I am so afraid this is coming soon.
I can't believe how hard this has been on me, actually. I guess the last time I had a dog put down I was a kid. I cried for days. But I was crying for a loss. Now, I am crying from carrying that wonderful burden I took up when I decided to care for these creatures. It is an awesome, horrible thing.
2.
This morning, as I was driving into town, I thought to myself, "Oh! I bet it will be easy to get parking space today. I am sure a bunch of folks are taking off to go hunting."
I was right. Delightful!
It struck me, as I parked in my easily-found space, how different regions of this country are so very unique in the patterns of the everyday minutiae. Indeed, it is everyday life that jolts me the most deeply. It makes the big, obvious differences between the western Rockie region and DC seem like exibitionistic performances. A staged play that we are all in on. But the everyday moments demonstrate how totally different it is to live in the Rocky Mountain West from the East Coast, and especially DC.
I am grateful. I clearly took living out here, in this way, for granted before I moved to DC. Now I get to delight in it. I was able to revel in the differences while living in DC, but it was DC that shook me. Now it is the West's turn to speak up and demand my attention.
3.
Winter is rapidly approaching. This weekend we are supposed to have super crappy weather: wind, rain and snow. Gross. But we've had a bit of a discernable fall, so I will try not to complain too much.
4.
Although I am not looking forward to EIGHT MONTHS of winter, I have kind of enjoyed the winter preparation activities. Draining and rolling up the hoses, moving the patio furniture to the shed, getting the windows and doors ready. It feels a bit like some kind of ritual to recognize and usher in winter.
5.
I am planning all sorts of indoor projects, too. I am going to try and sew some totes for our camping chairs. Start baking bread again. Knit something and FINISH it. I would love to knit a few baby blankets, but that may be setting an "unrealistic goal."
How are you all? How has autumn been treating you?
Posts
1. Poor Buster. Poor you guys. This is a hard time in a pet-pet's person's life.
ReplyDelete2. At first I was going to say that these cultural minutiae are more evident in small towns--but actually, I don't think they are. Big cities just have more of them. Now I am going to spend some time observing what my own neighborhood details are.
3. But winter weather = fun indoor baking wheee. However, I don't live in Wyoming. The winter weather dissipates here.
4. Totally. I love "putting away" the garden (although the garden would like to point out that usually this "putting away" is, er, more theoretical than actual.)
5. Aw, baby blankets! I have a friend who knits little creatures and posts them around the house. This sounds more cutesy than it is. The little creatures are...odd.
#1 is heart owies. Letting them go. The awesome burden. Etc. It really is so hard. I've had to make the decision three times now, and when I adopted each of the next three cats there was a feeling I didn't have when I adopted the first three: the knowledge that this was most likely a decision TO THE END. It's an odd thing, to weigh it, to find it well worth it but still really difficult.
ReplyDelete1. You are absolutely right. It will hurt; however, the trade off is worth it. You have all of the wonderful memories of being with Buster.
ReplyDelete5. This has become my go to baby blanket. Lovely and super easy.
http://jchandmade.typepad.com/jc_handmade/2008/11/bias-for-baby.html
i have noticed the same changes in my dog hobbes, we came back from vacation to him having Lyme disease, and now we are finding large lumps in his abdomen, he seems in good spirits but there are times when he just seems off...breaks my heart!
ReplyDeletegood wishes to you and yours and have a fantastic weekend!!
we are FINALLY getting a real fall in dc this year. the past two years kind of... skipped fall. as it's my favorite season, i was Highly Displeased. this year though - PLEASED!
ReplyDeletei recently pinned a fancy knitted scarf project to one of my pinterest boards. ......we'll see. :)