Friday, March 1, 2013

Friday Five, 03.01.2013

1. Dogs never fail to amaze me. DOGS. Their capacity for joy, and gratefulness and unconditional love just makes my heart swell. (And if this is nothing more than anthropomorphic daydreams, I don't care. I am rolling with it. Though, I do believe these sweet beings are capable of all that and more.)

2. I am so thankful for the sweet pups at home, especially this week. Their ridiculous enthusiasm for damn near everything is so refreshing.

It has been a miserable week. I don't remember why Monday sucked, but it did. Tuesday was a real whopper of a Tuesday. (Fucking Tuesdays. Why are they so soul-sucking?) In the morning, I forgot to put on makeup (???), my watch, my rings, and left my phone on my nightstand.

It stormed all day, and the roads around town and the highways were covered in slippery powdery snow with black ice underneath.  I got rear-ended at a stop sign, and I could't pull any info out of the guy that hit me. Thankfully, I wasn't hurt, nor was the other driver. I decided not to call the cops because my car didn't look any worse for wear but for a couple of scratches. His car, however, has some crunched up bits on his hood and headlight. I am pretty sure he didn't have insurance.

I regretted that decision and wished I'd pushed him enough to at least get his name. His license plate was covered by snow, and I didn't get the number.

I pretty much felt like an idiot all night long. And I had a headache. Then I remembered I did not have a phone to call the cops with, regardless. Oh, well! Live and learn, I suppose.

Then, last night, I finally did it. I locked both my office and car keys in my office, after hours, with no one around to let me in. At least I had my phone!

I left a message for A. to come get me and I was about to leave the building to go for a walk. (Why not? Plus, it wasn't very windy and one must snap up those opportunities if one wishes to remain sane going into March.) I noticed two oddly bulky figures at the end of the long hallway, dressed in all black. Could it be? It was! Campus Police! They were able to let me in my office provided I showed them some ID. Whew!

3. I would so love to visit hospitals and nursing homes with Winston, and Belle, if she'd like it. I think Winston would love it. As far as we can tell, he hasn't met a person he doesn't want to love on. Plus, I would  feel so damn fulfilled seeing some joy come to these folks' day. That kind of shit just makes me weepy-happy.

I have no faith, whatsoever, in my ability to train Winston for such endeavors. Don't get me wrong; he is a great dog and learns quickly. For the most part his behavior is totally acceptable.

However, I can't even stick to it to consistently train him to stay. I have been pretty lax about remembering to say "ouch" and ignore him when he mouths me with his teeth, and lately he has been jumping on me when I am heading over to fill up his dog bowl for dinner. I don't find this acceptable. So. I need to get consistent. He is so damn smart that he picks up on what he is supposed to do and what is naughty right away. When I do say ouch, the next time I am petting me he makes it a point to give my hand lots of teeth-free kisses. So really, any annoying habits fall squarely on me.

I need to get my ass in gear. I need to follow through on something, for fuck's sake. (There's a frustration for another post or five million. Anyway.)

4. Winston is so active! It is impossible to get any good pictures of him because he just cannot sit still that long. And when he wears himself out he is just - OUT. Immediately and completely. Sound ass asleep and you can even MOVE HIS LIMBS AROUND and he doesn't awaken. He will play so hard and then is comatose. It is fucking adorable.


He keeps us from being as lazy as well, I am inclined to be, and I love it. I would like to give him more walks, but I am a wuss when it comes to facing 30 mph wind and 10-degree weather. I accept and embrace that as a fault without any guilt. But still, I love going for walks, as do the pups.

I need to teach him some tricks to wear him out when we are housebound. Have you ever taught a dog any tricks? Which ones? I feel kind of hokey about it as I have never been a parent to a dog that had any interest in tricks, toys, etc. But he is whip smart and learning stuff keeps him entertained and occupied. And it so fun to watch the little wheels turning in Mr. Fuzzypants' mind as he learns something new.

He is pretty damn cute.

Belle tolerates him, and they play together occasionally. He is just too much of a firecracker for her right now. I do hope she grows to care for him. That weighs very heavily on my heart. I give her extra snuggles and secret Belle-only car rides to bring her some happiness. My sweet Belle.

5. I left my first-ever passive aggressive note on a driver's windshield today! This dick completely straddled two parking spots. And the parking lines were clearly visible and not hidden by ice and snow. I started the note out quite straightforwardly in an effort not to be a passive-aggressive asshole myself. I asked that if they were unaware they had parked like a dipshit unobservant person, to please pay more attention in the future. Then I went off about how if yes, they DID know they parked like a jerk, they should be ashamed of their selfish and discourteous act and thanks for pissing me right the hell off.


I am glad this week is nearly over. Happy Friday to you!


  1. 1. RE Dogs, I couldn't agree more. I think that animals are God's greatest gift to humanity - and I love the irony that animals are the ones to teach us so much about our humanity.

    2. RE Tricks, my aunt and uncle had an Airdale Terrier who was also very sharp and active. They constantly taught that dog new tricks as a way of keeping her occupied. Some included: finding toys throughout the house and putting them in her toy basket, holding treats on her nose, retrieving slippers & shoes on demand, etc.

    Hope you have a better week!

  2. I keep almost buying those snarky cards specifically meant to leave on other assbutt's windshields for shitty parking jobs, then wussing out.

    Dozer's best trick is holding a treat on his nose until he's told he can eat it, at which point he snaps his head up to throw the treat in the air & catches it before it drops. Chris taught him that - apparently lots and lots and lots of holding his snout still, and then lots and lots and lots of grabbing the treat from him before he could eat it if he didn't catch it on the first try :)

  3. The answer to Winston's question? YES - PLAY. ALWAYS. :)

    Whenever it's super cold out and I'm tired from a crappy day at work and don't want to take Shorty for a walk, I always remember that it's the highlight of his day. (And, if it's especially cold, I remind myself I can always cut the walk short.)

    Shorty needs to learn some new tricks, too. I'm thinking the treat on the nose trick would be fun. (Although I'd love to get him to stop barking at people when they ring the doorbell. That would be nice.)

    Otherwise, we taught him to army-crawl on command. (He does it naturally every night after dinner, so we just assigned a name to it and praised him for it until he did it on command.) Maybe WInston has a behavior he does naturally that you want to turn into a trick?

    This week has to be better for you - right?

  4. Spring's coming soon, right?

    I love Winston. And I don't have any advice for indoor activities for dogs. We pretty much toughed it out for 10 years until Costi mellowed with age. She was trained, obviously, but she didn't really have anything to DO. I still feel bad about this. Surely the Internet will provide relief?

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