1. This morning has been very eventful and sad.
I walked out to my car this morning and smelled a skunk. Residual skunk smell in the early morning is not too unusual, but I still glanced around. I mean, you just do not ignore the smell of a skunk, you know?
Not 20 yards from my car there was a large (and who are we kidding - ADORABLE) fur ball of black and white.
Fantastic.
I carefully walked back to the house to warn A. not to let Belle out front. (She loves skunks.) He asked if the skunk was moving but I only noticed it lift its head. A skunk out in daylight that can hardly move. This isn't good news for anybody-- human, canine, or otherwise.
I looked ridiculous as I tiptoed to my car to make sure the little guy wasn't playing possum (ha!) and ambush me with its sure-to-be-rabid teeth. (Gaaaaah.) Nope. Still could hardly move. As I drove around our circular drive it tried to lift its tail at me, at which time I hauled ass in my little Civic. The skunk's tail was awkward and almost sideways. Something was clearly not right with this animal.
I called A. and he said he'd seen the skunk's behavior. As I continued to drive down the dirt road to the highway I saw a neighbors' two dogs running around. I hoped they wouldn't blaze over to our house.
2. My dear, sweet, sensitive A. had to start his day off by killing an animal in pain or the final throes of rabies. He loaded his shotgun, ended its life and came in the house, only to find Belle missing.
He looked everywhere. He thought maybe she got outside. Maybe he hallucinated and actually shot her, instead of the skunk. He was getting anxious, to say the least.
He finally found her, hiding under a bed at the farthest corner of the house. He is afraid she saw him kill and bury the animal and is now scared of him. Oh, my god. Our Belle, who isn't scared of a damn thing, is hiding. Maybe hiding from A. Oh, hell.
3. My heart is breaking for my little family, and for the poor skunk. What a shitty way to start the day.
4. I figured out that my favorite homemade drink, a Whiskey Sour, is 11 goddamn points in Weight Watchers. That is nearly half of my daily allowance.
Does anyone know how to make a simple syrup with fake sugar? I try to avoid the fake bullshit foods, but maybe I can make simple syrup that is half sugar and half cancer-causing fakeness. Maybe agave would work and be less points?
Suggestions, folks?
On the other side of this expensive drink issue - a fitness questions! What the hell can I do to burn off enough calories to fit in a couple of these a week?! Sprint lunges while carrying a 100-lb bar across my shoulders? What the hell. Aging sucks.
5. I've lost 20 pounds! I did not know I had 20 pounds to lose, not really. The weight crept up over eight years or so and I still had the mental image of myself as a 25-year-old. I was always shocked by pictures of myself. Apparently, I can be selective about reality, too, just like Fox News!
I look like myself again, and I feel great. My belly doesn't hurt and doesn't get in the way. My jawline is back! I am pleased. I have 5 more pounds to my "goal weight" but really, I am happy right now.
Happy Friday to you!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Deliberate
A.'s last day of work was just over a week ago. He's gone hunting twice, and we have some elk in the freezer. He is so much more relaxed and I don't feel like crying every Sunday evening, knowing he is about to start another miserable week at a job he loathes.
Things are good.
A. has set up a schedule for himself, similar to what is recommended for freelancers who work from home. Instead of work, though, he is job hunting, tweaking resumes, and writing cover letters. I am glad that he is only dedicating a few hours a day to this, because otherwise I think he'll get depressed and frustrated. I think having a schedule and treating it like a job will help him focus and keep things in perspective. I hope.
A. has been spending his afternoons working on household projects, decluttering, (WAHOO!!), chopping firewood and cooking me dinner.
He has dinner ready for me when I get home from work. To a clean house. I could totally get used to this lifestyle. (He is so sweet - he tries to make dinners that won't cost me a gazillion Points. He is so awesome, you guys.)
So far the budget seems to be working out. I discontinued my (rather generous, if I do say) monthly donation to our local NPR station and gave up my locker rental at the gym. I am still making a donation to our state-wide food bank. That will be the last of any charity gifts to go. I've considered giving up my work parking pass, but finding parking nearby anytime after 7:15 a.m. is nearly impossible. Eh. We will eat out much less, maybe once or twice a month as a treat. That is ok. Why not have things in life that feel like treats, rather than entitlements?
If I find enough workout DVDs that I like, I may cancel my gym membership as well. It isn't very expensive, but it would be a few more dollars in the budget cushion.
Do you have any fitness DVDs that you like? I am waiting for a copy of "The Bar Method" to arrive. It is based on the foundations of ballet, and supposedly can tone you up like a mofo. But slender-like and not Hulk-like. I also have the "30 Day Shred" and it kicks my ass. I am nowhere near in shape enough to even attempt something like "Insanity." One of my sisters has already burned her way through that program. She is looking for something else to do - that is harder. She is my hero.
I have a few yoga DVDs that I like quite a bit, and feel covered on that front. Once/if we get some snowpack I hope to do plenty of cross country skiing, too. We can get to free trails withing a 15-minute drive from our house, so it is a pretty inexpensive and awesome workout in the winter.
Do you have any workout or money-saving tips? We do a lot of things already. We don't have a fancypants coffee daily, we cook at home, etc. I've been unplugging everything at night. EVERYTHING. It is awesome - you'd be amazed at the background noise everything makes with plugged in.
I kind of like this - it feels like a competition to see how inexpensively we can live and still be happy. Tips, please!
Things are good.
A. has set up a schedule for himself, similar to what is recommended for freelancers who work from home. Instead of work, though, he is job hunting, tweaking resumes, and writing cover letters. I am glad that he is only dedicating a few hours a day to this, because otherwise I think he'll get depressed and frustrated. I think having a schedule and treating it like a job will help him focus and keep things in perspective. I hope.
A. has been spending his afternoons working on household projects, decluttering, (WAHOO!!), chopping firewood and cooking me dinner.
He has dinner ready for me when I get home from work. To a clean house. I could totally get used to this lifestyle. (He is so sweet - he tries to make dinners that won't cost me a gazillion Points. He is so awesome, you guys.)
So far the budget seems to be working out. I discontinued my (rather generous, if I do say) monthly donation to our local NPR station and gave up my locker rental at the gym. I am still making a donation to our state-wide food bank. That will be the last of any charity gifts to go. I've considered giving up my work parking pass, but finding parking nearby anytime after 7:15 a.m. is nearly impossible. Eh. We will eat out much less, maybe once or twice a month as a treat. That is ok. Why not have things in life that feel like treats, rather than entitlements?
If I find enough workout DVDs that I like, I may cancel my gym membership as well. It isn't very expensive, but it would be a few more dollars in the budget cushion.
Do you have any fitness DVDs that you like? I am waiting for a copy of "The Bar Method" to arrive. It is based on the foundations of ballet, and supposedly can tone you up like a mofo. But slender-like and not Hulk-like. I also have the "30 Day Shred" and it kicks my ass. I am nowhere near in shape enough to even attempt something like "Insanity." One of my sisters has already burned her way through that program. She is looking for something else to do - that is harder. She is my hero.
I have a few yoga DVDs that I like quite a bit, and feel covered on that front. Once/if we get some snowpack I hope to do plenty of cross country skiing, too. We can get to free trails withing a 15-minute drive from our house, so it is a pretty inexpensive and awesome workout in the winter.
Do you have any workout or money-saving tips? We do a lot of things already. We don't have a fancypants coffee daily, we cook at home, etc. I've been unplugging everything at night. EVERYTHING. It is awesome - you'd be amazed at the background noise everything makes with plugged in.
I kind of like this - it feels like a competition to see how inexpensively we can live and still be happy. Tips, please!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Ramblings
I believe I've mentioned here that A. is very unhappy in his current job. It is in a field he detests and his workplace is positively toxic. His health has suffered; he doesn’t sleep well, he has frequent headaches and his acid reflux is nearly constant. Not to mention he is very, very unhappy.
He put in his notice a month ago. Next Friday is his last day!
I am so relieved! I’ve been recommending this for months and months, but he finally saw for himself that it was a good and necessary move.
It is scary, for sure. He does not have another job lined up yet. I hope that he will find ways to stay active and remember his self worth, even if he is not earning money. I, personally, think he will contribute to our family in a wonderful way, regardless of income. Money isn’t everything. But happiness is.
I’ve been ruminating on happiness for some time. I’ve been freaking out about the role money plays in structuring our lives, and effectively stamping out happiness. Of all the distractions that cost us money, time, and happiness. Really, is an iPad or iPhone necessary? And not only that, is it necessary to improve upon models annually and for consumers to updgrade? What is upgrading, after all? The smartphones and super gadgets are all cool, and truly feats of engineering genius. I appreciate that, and don’t think innovation in and of itself is a bad thing. But most innovation just creates products we’ve been trained we need. We automatically value innovation and equal it to “progress.” Do we really even need cell phones, let alone smartphones? Not really.
It is a spiraling train of thought, and I often find it overwhelming and frightening. But I really, really want to find a way for A. and I to define our lives the way we need to in order to be happy and not to meet some standard forced upon on us and approved by the current capitalist system. It is not working, this mainstream idea of the good life. (I don’t think we are any “better” or whatnot than the mainstream, and am not interested in being contrarian just for the sake of it. I just don’t know if we can find happiness this way.)
We are going to be a one-income family for a while. For how long, we do not know. I’ve been considering things to cut back on or even eliminate entirely both to help bring some breathing room into our budget, but also to remove unnecessary distractions. I want to chuck the TV altogether, but A. really enjoys watching baseball and hockey. Of course, with the hockey players on strike that argument is currently moot. Unfortunately, I am a simpleton that cannot keep myself from getting sucked into the TV. If it is on, I am a zombie.)
I have an iPhone, and I do use it quite a bit. I will readily admit that it is fun to do all the stuff you can with it. I love having a live calendar and adore Instagram. But otherwise? I wonder if it is just a harmful distraction. I ignore A. more than I think I do, I am sure. I do not need Words with Friends or the Rachel Maddow app. (Though I looooove having access to her show - I have such a huge crush on her.)
Should I unplug? Suck it up and pay the early termination fee from Gigantic Cell Phone Company and get a pre-paid, less sexy phone? I would save $540 a year. And would hopefully quit ignoring A. Why am I so hesitant?
Thoughts?
He put in his notice a month ago. Next Friday is his last day!
I am so relieved! I’ve been recommending this for months and months, but he finally saw for himself that it was a good and necessary move.
It is scary, for sure. He does not have another job lined up yet. I hope that he will find ways to stay active and remember his self worth, even if he is not earning money. I, personally, think he will contribute to our family in a wonderful way, regardless of income. Money isn’t everything. But happiness is.
I’ve been ruminating on happiness for some time. I’ve been freaking out about the role money plays in structuring our lives, and effectively stamping out happiness. Of all the distractions that cost us money, time, and happiness. Really, is an iPad or iPhone necessary? And not only that, is it necessary to improve upon models annually and for consumers to updgrade? What is upgrading, after all? The smartphones and super gadgets are all cool, and truly feats of engineering genius. I appreciate that, and don’t think innovation in and of itself is a bad thing. But most innovation just creates products we’ve been trained we need. We automatically value innovation and equal it to “progress.” Do we really even need cell phones, let alone smartphones? Not really.
It is a spiraling train of thought, and I often find it overwhelming and frightening. But I really, really want to find a way for A. and I to define our lives the way we need to in order to be happy and not to meet some standard forced upon on us and approved by the current capitalist system. It is not working, this mainstream idea of the good life. (I don’t think we are any “better” or whatnot than the mainstream, and am not interested in being contrarian just for the sake of it. I just don’t know if we can find happiness this way.)
We are going to be a one-income family for a while. For how long, we do not know. I’ve been considering things to cut back on or even eliminate entirely both to help bring some breathing room into our budget, but also to remove unnecessary distractions. I want to chuck the TV altogether, but A. really enjoys watching baseball and hockey. Of course, with the hockey players on strike that argument is currently moot. Unfortunately, I am a simpleton that cannot keep myself from getting sucked into the TV. If it is on, I am a zombie.)
I have an iPhone, and I do use it quite a bit. I will readily admit that it is fun to do all the stuff you can with it. I love having a live calendar and adore Instagram. But otherwise? I wonder if it is just a harmful distraction. I ignore A. more than I think I do, I am sure. I do not need Words with Friends or the Rachel Maddow app. (Though I looooove having access to her show - I have such a huge crush on her.)
Should I unplug? Suck it up and pay the early termination fee from Gigantic Cell Phone Company and get a pre-paid, less sexy phone? I would save $540 a year. And would hopefully quit ignoring A. Why am I so hesitant?
Thoughts?
Friday, September 7, 2012
Selflessness
We need more of this in the world. More selflessness and more caring.
I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this story about a guy moving his hummer in front of some kids in a crosswalk to keep them from being run over.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Friday Five
1. Health Kick Update!
I've lost 11 pounds and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. My gut feels better, I don't feel uncomfortable. It is great. I'd like to lose 12 more and that will put me at my goal. My goal is 7 pounds heavier than the itty-bitty weight I'd managed to stay at all throughout my 20s without any effort. (Why, oh why, did I not realize I was smokin' hot?!?! So many days not in shorts, skirts, or a bikini and FOR WHAT? Anyway.)
I do not think Itty-Bitty Weight is going to be possible without tears.So, in my late 30s a 7 pound compromise it is.
Weight Watchers is pretty easy, for the most part. Although I am so very sad at how points-expensive alcohol is. DAMN IT THAT IS NOT FAIR. I am also so much more active and it just feels so good! I am still a total weakling and totally out of shape, but am slowing starting to get better.
Of course, last night I went out of control and ate 5 slices of this AMAZING thin crust, wood-fired pizza at a new restaurant in town. So. Yummy. Also had two dirty martinis that were so damn good they went down smooth. I haven't had a martini in about three years. They should have been more difficult to drink.
Yay for a good restaurant with a great bartender!
Shit.
2. It is a damn good thing A. and I are going to get fire wood over the weekend. If that doesn't earn me about a gazillion points I will be seriously distraught. It is so much work to get fire wood! Carrying trees! Huge trees! All fucking day!
3. The original plan was to spend all weekend getting firewood. However, A. received some bad news this morning.
A. grew up with three families, basically. His family spent holidays, went on vacations, went camping, etc. with two other families. Well, the mother in one of the families, B, was diagnosed with cancer throughout her body a couple of months ago.
She is not doing well. Her pain cannot be managed and so they've called in Hospice. All of the kids are heading back to be with her again. (They've been there every few weeks since the diagnosis.) The saddest part is her daughter is eight months pregnant with her second child and cannot travel to see her. It is really difficult on the daughter.
So, A. is losing what is like another mother to him, too. I am so heartbroken for all of them. I've met B and visit her frequently. (They are in a town about 45 minutes from here.) She is a really wonderful person.
I've watched this before with my own mother. I would be surprised if she has another month.
So. Long, shitty story short, we will be spending one of our weekend days visiting B and the family.
4. I am so worried about A. He hates his job SO MUCH, has been applying to other jobs and not getting anything, feels like a failure with FIVE FUCKING DEGREES, has an employee he supervises that his boss HATES, the stability of his job is actually totally up in the air, and now this. I just wish I could love and hug all of this away for him.
5. We have not adopted a new pup yet. We are going to talk about it more this weekend. I am calling a couple of nearby shelters to see if it is possible for Belle to come with and meet potential siblings.
I'd like to foster, though the (HORRIBLE) shelter in town does not have a fostering program. They try to deny they are a kill shelter, but they are. If they do not have enough room, then someone gets put down. I can't think about it because I literally start to spiral into a super freakout. Then I want to adopt all the babies.
I honestly do not know how I will walk out of there with one pup and know I am leaving the others behind. Oh, God.
Bonus: I've often thought I should try to start a no-kill shelter in town. I haven't the foggiest idea how to start. I suppose the Humane Society or ASPCA would have some info?
Happy Friday to you! Hug those close to your for me.
I've lost 11 pounds and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. My gut feels better, I don't feel uncomfortable. It is great. I'd like to lose 12 more and that will put me at my goal. My goal is 7 pounds heavier than the itty-bitty weight I'd managed to stay at all throughout my 20s without any effort. (Why, oh why, did I not realize I was smokin' hot?!?! So many days not in shorts, skirts, or a bikini and FOR WHAT? Anyway.)
I do not think Itty-Bitty Weight is going to be possible without tears.So, in my late 30s a 7 pound compromise it is.
Weight Watchers is pretty easy, for the most part. Although I am so very sad at how points-expensive alcohol is. DAMN IT THAT IS NOT FAIR. I am also so much more active and it just feels so good! I am still a total weakling and totally out of shape, but am slowing starting to get better.
Of course, last night I went out of control and ate 5 slices of this AMAZING thin crust, wood-fired pizza at a new restaurant in town. So. Yummy. Also had two dirty martinis that were so damn good they went down smooth. I haven't had a martini in about three years. They should have been more difficult to drink.
Yay for a good restaurant with a great bartender!
Shit.
2. It is a damn good thing A. and I are going to get fire wood over the weekend. If that doesn't earn me about a gazillion points I will be seriously distraught. It is so much work to get fire wood! Carrying trees! Huge trees! All fucking day!
3. The original plan was to spend all weekend getting firewood. However, A. received some bad news this morning.
A. grew up with three families, basically. His family spent holidays, went on vacations, went camping, etc. with two other families. Well, the mother in one of the families, B, was diagnosed with cancer throughout her body a couple of months ago.
She is not doing well. Her pain cannot be managed and so they've called in Hospice. All of the kids are heading back to be with her again. (They've been there every few weeks since the diagnosis.) The saddest part is her daughter is eight months pregnant with her second child and cannot travel to see her. It is really difficult on the daughter.
So, A. is losing what is like another mother to him, too. I am so heartbroken for all of them. I've met B and visit her frequently. (They are in a town about 45 minutes from here.) She is a really wonderful person.
I've watched this before with my own mother. I would be surprised if she has another month.
So. Long, shitty story short, we will be spending one of our weekend days visiting B and the family.
4. I am so worried about A. He hates his job SO MUCH, has been applying to other jobs and not getting anything, feels like a failure with FIVE FUCKING DEGREES, has an employee he supervises that his boss HATES, the stability of his job is actually totally up in the air, and now this. I just wish I could love and hug all of this away for him.
5. We have not adopted a new pup yet. We are going to talk about it more this weekend. I am calling a couple of nearby shelters to see if it is possible for Belle to come with and meet potential siblings.
I'd like to foster, though the (HORRIBLE) shelter in town does not have a fostering program. They try to deny they are a kill shelter, but they are. If they do not have enough room, then someone gets put down. I can't think about it because I literally start to spiral into a super freakout. Then I want to adopt all the babies.
I honestly do not know how I will walk out of there with one pup and know I am leaving the others behind. Oh, God.
Bonus: I've often thought I should try to start a no-kill shelter in town. I haven't the foggiest idea how to start. I suppose the Humane Society or ASPCA would have some info?
Happy Friday to you! Hug those close to your for me.
Monday, August 6, 2012
To Increase Our Family or Not?
I was fly fishing in some of the most beautiful country over the weekend. It was great; we camped in a really isolated spot on Saturday and just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. Belle even had a great time!
Belle was a total trooper. She swap through the large stream without hesitation. While I was holding her on her leash, she kept circling me. First, shed run into a faster current and run up it, biting at the water. Then she'd hit the less fast but still deep water and run through that, sprinting for land. Then she'd haul ass around me and do it all over again. You'd never guess she's 12.
We are considering adopting another dog. I've found about 28,397 on Petfinder.com that I'd like to adopt. Both mine and A.'s main concern is whether the new pup will be someone Belle will take to. We don't want her last few years with us made miserable by a dog she can't stand.
When we puppysat Smuckers, we had him for over a week. Belle didn't pay him the slightest attention, but rather hid in her favorite spots most of the time.
Smuckers was rambunctious and kind of crazy and she just didn't want to put up with it. The last thing I want is for her to hide. I want her happy and playing and smiling, like she was this weekend. So, we are hoping we can take her with us to meet any potential new babies and hope that she sends us a clear signal if she likes someone.
I hate for her to be without a companion all day, I hate that there are sweethearts needing to be adopted. But I don't want to disrupt Belle's life more than I have to.
Belle was a total trooper. She swap through the large stream without hesitation. While I was holding her on her leash, she kept circling me. First, shed run into a faster current and run up it, biting at the water. Then she'd hit the less fast but still deep water and run through that, sprinting for land. Then she'd haul ass around me and do it all over again. You'd never guess she's 12.
We are considering adopting another dog. I've found about 28,397 on Petfinder.com that I'd like to adopt. Both mine and A.'s main concern is whether the new pup will be someone Belle will take to. We don't want her last few years with us made miserable by a dog she can't stand.
When we puppysat Smuckers, we had him for over a week. Belle didn't pay him the slightest attention, but rather hid in her favorite spots most of the time.
Smuckers was rambunctious and kind of crazy and she just didn't want to put up with it. The last thing I want is for her to hide. I want her happy and playing and smiling, like she was this weekend. So, we are hoping we can take her with us to meet any potential new babies and hope that she sends us a clear signal if she likes someone.
I hate for her to be without a companion all day, I hate that there are sweethearts needing to be adopted. But I don't want to disrupt Belle's life more than I have to.
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