Friday Five

1.
A. and I are packing and planning for our 3rd Annual Western Wyoming Fly Fishing Trip. I am pumped.

We both managed to take an entire week off of work so we can really just get away. Our friend, MG, who normally joins us for this trip is unable to make it this year. I am sad he won't be there, but it will be really nice for A. and I too have this little getaway for just the two of us.

I love, love, love this part of the country that we will be in. It is so gorgeous. We will be high in the mountains. I don't feel claustrophobic in the mountains, even when we fish our way up a narrow canyon. I wonder why that is? When we stopped and wandered around the Salt Flats, however, I felt weird as fuck.

2.
Last night A. and I were watching the third Pirates of the Carribean while planning our trip. Maybe that weird sequence in Davy Jones' Locker contributed to my unease at the Salt Flats?

3.
I am a bit stressed about work. I am really, really busy and this trip is poor timing. Or great timing, as it gets me away from my desk and out in the real world for a bit. Regardless, I am shutting down at 5:00 p.m. on the dot.

4.
I finally met my best friend's baby daughter this week. You guys! It is a wee JelBel! I just fell so, so very in love with her. I am so sad they live in D.C.

5.
What are your plans for the weekend?

Happy Friday to you!

Sugar and Cream?

It was nice to see family last week. I am quite sure that the reality of Noni's passing has not hit me yet.

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I get to meet my best friend's baby daughter for the first time tonight.

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Things even out in the best way, don't you think?


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I drank my coffee black this morning as I forgot to buy half-and-half at the store last night. I am not minding this.

Are you a coffee drinker? How do you take yours?

Rich

Life has been full the past few months.

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The fullness and richness of life is especially apparent to me this week. Monday we lost Noni, our grandmother. She had been in the hospital for some time, and her passing is ultimately a blessing. However, it does not make it hurt less to say goodbye.

Noni is part of a pair: Noni and Popi. I am so sad for Popi. They were just short of their 61st wedding anniversary.

She was a fantastic quilter. She is actually my step-grandmother, but truly I make no distinction. I only mention it because of my favorite quilt from her. Noni made nine quilts for all of her grandchildren for our first Christmas together as a blended family. My sisters and I all received one.

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There is a young man who is frequently in front of a building at my workplace. He is always trying to flip his skateboard and land on it. I do not know the name of the maneuver. it is a pretty basic one and probably has a name.

He has been at this for months. I have yet to see him succeed.

And yet, he is there, out in a very public place, trying and trying again. Usually around the noon hour when there is plenty of people around.

He inspires me. It is time to put myself out there.

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I am going to start applying to jobs I want, not just that I think I am qualified for. I am going to apply for a position in particular that kind of terrifies me, but would also be a dream come true.

I am going to start painting again, and show my work. I will not hide it in a closet.

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How are you all? I have missed you.

Friday Five

1.

Last weekend, A. and I worked on the little brick patio we are putting in the front yard to accommodate a small fire pit. 

I learned I hate any kind of DIY-project related to home maintenance. I would love to spend my time and money on just about anything else. Removing an old washer and installing a new one? Positively a pain in the ass. Painting? Painting? Quite possibly the worst way to spend one's time. Yard work? For the love, I'd rather work on the household budget. Which is, you know, icky.

2.

Seems, for me, that household cleaning has become a permanent item on that list of hated past-times. I cannot, for the life of me, work up the energy to give a shit about cleaning the house. I want the house to be clean, I just don't want to do it. I would much rather read. I really need to do something about this. Tips? What motivates you to lift yourself out of a state of filth? Christ.


It is not that A. is not willing to help. In fact, if it weren't' for him, we truly would be buried in dirty clothes and dishes. And that isn't fair.

I don't think this total apathy toward my household is depression related. I think I am just being a lazy turd.


3.
However, in a total contradiction, I really enjoy doing the maintenance stuff on my car myself. Perhaps this is because I know I am saving myself a few hundred dollars. Before our recent trip to California, I changed my own spark plugs, checked and maintained all fluids, replaced my air filter and cabin air filter. (A. helped me.) I also rooted around and checked all my hoses and belts. Take that, dealer mechanic! I am using you for your lift, bud, and that is it. In fact, I am planning on flushing and replacing the transmission and radiator fluids myself.  I bought a copy of the Haynes auto manual that shows how to do everything to maintain and repair the car. My dad always had these manuals for his trucks, and boy they are awesome. I've been reading it as a recreational book, for Pete's sake.

I should be honest. The savings are only part of why I don't mind putting my time into maintaining my car. The smug sense of virtue I get wrapped up in also has something to do with it. My goal is to own this car FOREVER. Well, at least for 300,000 miles or 15 years. I've owned it for about 5 years and already have 103,000 miles on it. I get pretty full of myself when working toward this goal. I will not be caught up in ridiculous, wasteful, unnecessary consumerism. No way. I am way too smart and disciplined for that, yes siree. I will be resourceful and responsible and frugal. 

Feel free to slap me.


4.
Both A. and I are job-hunting with renewed vigor, now that I don't have the masters hanging over me. Boy, talk about activities that suck up time and totally suck. Any tips and words of encouragement would sure be appreciated. Job hunting is totally demeaning. 

5. 
We are headed up to A.'s folks' place in northern Wyoming for a family reunion-y gathering. All aunts and uncles and nearly all cousins on his mom's side will be there, about 30 people. We will be camping on their large lawn. I am really excited to see everyone. It should be fun. I hope the dogs don't lose their shit with all the people and kids. They may have to hang out in our tent more than they'd like. 

Happy Friday, and Happy 4th!

Sleep

The other night, I dreamt that we had to put Buster to sleep. I do not remember any specifics, only his big brown eyes, a cold linoleum floor and the crushing heartbreak.

Both Buster and Belle have many happy, comfortable years in front of them. Yet, I have not been able to shake that heartbreak. No really.

Do you ever experience lingering fear/sadness/vague offness from a dream? When this happens to me, it tends to color everything a hazy gray for a day or two. Sometimes, if the dream is scary I will feel slightly wound up and fearful for a few days. Tell me, have you ever had this happen to you?


This has been especially acute since going on Crazy Meds. It is certainly not enough of a pain for me to consider getting off meds, but damn. Sometimes it sucks. If it keeps up, I am scheduling an appointment with my therapist. I want to make sure this is not Crazy showing up in a different pair of pants.

On the other hand, I tend to carry the happiness of a fortunate dream with me, too.

Friday Five

Hello? Hi.

Since defending, I have not done much other than stuff as much goofy, lighthearted fiction through my eyeballs as possible. 

Free time is AWESOME.

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1.
A. and I have been on the road sooooo much already this summer. This is our first weekend home in...just over a month? 

A couple of weeks ago we spent the weekend in Denver with A.'s folks, siblings and kids. For our birthdays, his folks bought us tickets to the Rockies-Cardinals series and we went as a family. It was so, so fun. Plus, we got to see all the nieces and nephews on his side of the family. They are growing like weeds!

(Jess - sorry we didn't call. The weekend was crazy packed with so many people, and it was like herding cats. I didn't think I could handle another obligation. We will see each other soon, I promise! I need to meet Callum!)

Last weekend we traveled to my sister's to meet my brand new niece!!!! New Niece was only two weeks old and just an awesome bug of a person. So snugly and ridiculous. New Big Brother was a stinkin' adorable as ever and seems to be handling the changes ok for now.

My family on my mom's side were all gathering in the same city that weekend. I got to see my favorite aunt and uncle and all my cousins. It was a really fun weekend.

It has been so great seeing so much family! I really wish we all lived closer together.

And we are on the road again next week for a 28-hour round-trip to California. A.'s friend is getting married in Sacramento, and my babe is in the wedding. I have to admit, I am pretty excited to see him in a tux.

Plus, I need to get myself a ticket to DC as soon as possible. My best friend, Jel-Bel, had her first baby a week ago!! Lil' V arrived perfect as can be. 

While I am excited to meet Lil' V, I am even more anxious to see Jel-Bel. I am having a really hard time being separated from her while she transitions into this new life. We've done so much together that I can't believe I wasn't there to welcome her into motherhood. I mean, that is sacred, as far as I am concerned.

2.

Speaking of which, I am not quite as confused about Baby or No Baby, but it is still on my mind. When I held my niece, I was not overcome with longing. I did not need to breathe her in. I was delighted by her, and couldn't get over her tiny ears, and am so, so happy for my sister. But...yeah. No "I MUST HAVE A BABY" episodes.

So, still confused. And getting older my the day. What bullshit.

3.
Our trips have not been dog-friendly, so the mutts have been in jail quite often. I never know at which kennel to board them. 

Kennel A is our vet. I love our vet, she is pretty awesome with our dogs and readily recommended accupuncture for Buster. Meaning, she recommended services from another vet in which she will make no money. Not to mention that she is recommending an entirely different sort of treatment. I like her a lot. Also, these kennels have connected outdoor dog runs, so the pups can be outside as much as they want, which they prefer.

Kennel B is a really nice, new facility. It is also connected to a great vet practice, but the kennel section was specifically built to be a large kennel service. The staff are great with the dogs, and the dogs come back in the same state of anxiety as they do the other kennel. (They freak out when we leave, but settle in. Then they act like spazoids when we pick them up. It is kind of embarassing.) They get taken on three walks a day at Kennel B, but do not have access to a dog run.

The dogs come home smelling like a kennel when they stay at Kennel A, but do not stink when at Kennel B.

It also seems that the last two times they've been at Kennel A that they have come home with kennel cough (even though they are inoculated). 

I am leaning toward Kennel B, even if they don't have a dog run.

Thoughts? Remember, these are my babies.

4. 

We had Mountain Bluebirds nesting in our box again! And again, The Asshole Sparrows kicked them out. They tossed their eggs to the ground.

I was so sad. Furious.

Is there ANY WAY at all to deter sparrows? 

I am so fed up with this little shits that I DID NOT shoo-away a neighbor's cat when he came lurking. I looked the other way. I never do that.

5.

I am going to make some meals and snacks to take with us on our trip to California. I am going to make homemade Chex Mix, popcorn popped with only oil infused with chilies (that way it stays crisp), and perhaps homemade granola bars. I will bring some cherries, grapes, strawberries, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, and string cheese.

I would like to have healthy foods available, both for health and budget. I feel so horrible by the end of most road trips, thanks to all the soda and crap food. I only eat this way on trips. With as much as we are traveling this summer, this baloney has to stop.

Do you have any other suggestions? I would love to hear them!

Happy Friday to you!